Do you think Spunky Labia International Porn Star did not notice she has fallen entirely OFF the list of Lijit searches on the right sidebar?
Spunky was once the Queen of the Lijit Searches. Then BNL crept to the front, and now it seems Steven Page has overtaken BNL, and in the tussle Spunky dwindled and then disappeared!
Spunky knew it was time to re-invent herself. She touched up the polish on her big toe (albeit with an entirely different color; she thinks it's daring). She wanted to sport a latex sheath, so she sent the Appendage out for a condom. But then Mr. Appendage called and offered to buy it, and as we see, Mr. Appendage fell through, didn't he? He just came home without any condoms at all.
He offered up this nice stretchy ring, which is surprisingly comfy and cinches her in much better than a baggy condom. Look for a comeback in Spunky's future.
I don't get it. Should I get it?
Posted by: allison | July 15, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Allison - for quite some time, the only visitors to this blog besides Becs, Silk, and my Mom were fans of toe porn. Seriously, an image search on "toe porn xxx" would take you right to my toes. So, I decided to capitalize on my toes appeal and take photos of my toes on vacation, my toes eating pizza, etc.
Then someone googled "spunky labia" and got here because someone had commented Ginger Rogers was spunky, and I'm sure my labia and their problems could fill a category. So my toes became "Spunky Labia, International Toe Porn Superstar." I am the Appendage.
And now for some reason, no one is searching for Spunky Labia anymore. So now Spunky is desperate for attention.
OR perhaps that wasn't your question. She's wearing a cock ring.
Posted by: TheQueen | July 15, 2010 at 06:09 PM
Well - that was edifying on so many levels. Thanks. I think. :)
Posted by: allison | July 15, 2010 at 09:06 PM
Welcome back Spunky! Hattie "gets it." You know what gets the most hits on my blog? Camping Porn. Try it. It's a whole genre of porn, evidently, most appealing to Europeans.
Posted by: Hattie | July 16, 2010 at 12:16 AM
Madam,
You are the most matter-of-fact user of COMPLETELY obscene terms that I know. I am saddened that I recognized the jewelry, and saddened that I know what the phrase regarding being spunky means to those who search for it. I got to this place by being easily bored. When you're searching for anything or anyone that can surprise you (for a change), often you wind up with utter and complete filth as a side effect.
Sincerely,
Your Over-filth-educated-but-not-really-a-bad-person Fan
Posted by: Tami | July 16, 2010 at 08:38 AM
Even with that, you still aren't ranking on lijit search. :( I think you may have to move into toe bondage. They have all kinds of splints and little caps in the old farts with bad feet section of CVS.
Posted by: Becs | July 16, 2010 at 04:55 PM
I see friend #2 is getting more search attention than your toes lately.
Do you forsake your numbered friends who read you before you were x rated at Starbucks?
Posted by: Caroline | July 16, 2010 at 09:33 PM
Allison - Spunky does what she can.
Hattie - I am afraid to look.
Tami - You are of the world. There are advantages to that.
Becs - I thought made a "dog" collar next.
Caroline - Hit Mom, yes, and what is with the "Good wife" search?
Posted by: TheQueen | July 17, 2010 at 10:58 PM
Wow. I never thought to put ours on toes. Does his dick stay hard like that?
Posted by: Hot Mom | February 11, 2011 at 09:41 PM
Hot Mom - Oh, like he'd ever wear that. He doesn't even take aspirin.
Posted by: TheQueen | February 12, 2011 at 07:16 PM