My belly's been trapped under the laptop for the last few weekends, so we thought it might be a nice idea to leave the house Saturday.
Just for breakfast.
A fearsome Japanese Beetle hitched a ride then decided to fly in front of Gary while he was driving on the highway.
I could leave this to your imagination right now.
Instead, I will quote Gary directly:
"AUGH! AUGH! BEETLE BEETLE! GREEN SHIRT! Don ONEN yr MFFFFF."
Augh Augh Beetle Beetle is self explanatory.
Gary was wearing this shirt ...
... and, always the Biology Major, surmised the beetle was attracted to the green of the shirt and wanted to turn it into a green lace shirt, as they do.
I never knew I had Japanese beetles until this year. I blamed the aphids. We only knew Japanese beetles were a problem because we had to research why the neighbor has this on her front lawn:
Wait, where was I? Yes, driving 65 mph with a beetle in the car. Augh, beetle, green shirt ...
"Dn OEN yr MFFFFF." That was "Don't open you mouth." Or the beetle will fly in. Surprisingly, he didn't say "Open your mouth so the beetle will fly in!" like I'm a symbiotic organism. "The female of the species swallows the Japanese beetle, which benefits the male."
Gary rolled down the windows and I saw the beetle get sucked out, but he insisted it might have been sucked right back in the back window. We kept our mouths clamped shut until the parking lot, where we found no beetle passengers but we did find Gary had been bitten twice. Don't tell me they don't bite. They bite out of spite. He had two freshly bleeding spite bites staining his shirt.