Let us say I had been getting tattoos since I was 15. I would not get these tattoos lightly. Each tattoo would be significant to my life. More than t-shirt or bumper-sticker significant.
Here are the tattoos I would have.
1. I would get a Maranatha tattoo at the age of 15.
"Maranatha" is an Aramaic term that means, "Come, Lord Jesus." At 15 I was fiercely praying for the return of Christ, since it would whisk me into the heavens away from high school and bullies and my brother and parents. Mine would be as big as the one above, because I was all about Jesus. It was a significant part of my life, and I could see if I were into tattoos that would be inked right across my collarbones.
2. Then, later in high school I would get a Literary Tattoo, somewhat like this one.
I would pick Sonnet 130, though. That's my favorite. In fact, that's still my favorite. Why? Because I haven't read a Shakespeare sonnet in 20 years. He hasn't written any new ones, and I read them all in college, and I picked my favorite.
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
That, on my high school body, would have been ironic and self-deprecating. Not so much now. I haven't "tread on the ground" for about a decade. That tat would be on my back. The final couplet would have spread to twice the size of the top.
3. We can skip the boyfriend's names, because I don't think I made permanent plans with any boys. Gary loves to tell how I told the priest at our pre-Cana conferences I saw this marriage lasting five years.
4. I was quite devoted to my garden the first ten years in my house. My favorite flower was the wisteria that dangled over our porch. I'd have gotten a wisteria tattoo to show my devotion to gardening.
The wisteria grew happily in our clay soil and soon swamped the front of our house. And then, it invaded our attic and grew just as lustily, albino, IN THE ATTIC. It's still up there, dead and disconnected from the roots. The roots which to this day try to reach the attic again, though I've poured stump killer on them every year.
I could not find a photo of a wisteria tattoo. Gary watches that L.A.Ink show, and we'd have to have had Kat von Dee (?) make a design for me. I think that one would have gone someplace whimsical, like on my midriff. So now, there would be little wisteria trails peeking out under my boobs.
5. I did have a long history of throwing tea parties, and I have a tiny collection of teacups.
Of course, my teacup wouldn't have teabag or a blood splatter. This cup is on the back of someone's calf. Perhaps my other leg could have a teapot that would appear to pour when I flexed my calf.
My tea party days are dwindling - the big 25th anniversary event is morphing from a catered tea party event into a European vacation. Or as they say on South Park, 'screw you guys, I'm going to Europe.'
I can think of a few other tattoos, too. I'm sure I'd have had a British flag from my Anglophile days, and something round circling my belly button. Oh! Intestines! Like a cut-out of intestines. And of course, a BNL tattoo, most probably the first few notes from "War on Drugs." You know, stuff that wouldn't make me cringe later in life.
Of course, I could still get them removed. Look at this ad.
Seriously, let's say you never met me, you saw me naked (it could happen) 6 months after I'd had the tattoo removal above, are you saying you wouldn't look at my skin and say, "why is there a face on your belly?"
So, you want to commemorate what's important to you in life? Get a charm bracelet.