I Know You All Have 10,000 Thread Count Sheets, But This Was News To Me.

Updated 5/21/19 - this post is a joke. 10,000 thread count sheets are a scam. See here: https://www.mysanantonio.com/realestate/article/The-Best-Thread-Count-for-Bedsheets-Is-Not-as-12785046.php

If you like, continue reading my experience below. Then, visit the Over-18 category of my blog, because I know you will anyway. [SPOILERS] You will be disappointed.

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Recently I bought a set of 1,000 thread count sheets online. Just for the twin bed in the guest room. I felt this was quite an extravagance.

I read the comments about the softness, the luxury, and then the one troll comment about how these sheets were CRAP THE WORST SHEETS EVER PIECE OF SHIT SHEETS WHAT A RIP-OFF NOT SOFT AT ALL.

Someone else commented that, dumbass, you have to wash them a few times before they reach maximum softness.

This was an understatement. After one washing you can fold these sheets. After four washings you can make a Carnival Towel Animal out of the pillowcase.

 

If you don't recognize it, that's because it's Egyptian.

Seriously, this stuff is like twill. I could make jeans out of these sheets. I might wash them two more times and then I'm putting them on the bed this weekend.

Comments

[Zayrina]

Well that's odd. I buy high thread count sheets and think they are soft as room temp butter.

[greenwords]

The inadvertent purchasing of crunchy sheets just rots my socks. Hopefully they'll live up to their soft reputation after a couple more washes.

[Becs]

Or you could go pound them on rocks on the river bank.

My non-jersey-knit sheets are like that. Which is why they will be used as drop cloths if I ever paint anything again.

[Tami]

I have switched to satin sheets, and only satin sheets. People look at me as if I'm insane, and start blathering on about how satin sheets make them too warm to sleep. I have never found this to be the case. Why satin? Because when I try to roll over in bed, it's completely non-effort. Whoosh - done! Plus, I hear that satin pillowcases are less likely to cause hair breakage. I worry about these things. Have I told you all this before?

[Hattie]

Me, I live with scratchy sheets and towels, because I dry everything on the line outdoors. But I don't have to deal with dry air and thus don't have itchy skin and such.

[Shania]

Flannel year round for me. Can't get much softer than that.

[Hot Mom]

You spend how much on sheets only to waste thousands of gallons of water and how much electricity washing them before they're even slept on?

Your carbon footprint is showing.

[TravelSkite]

Those 'hotel quality' sheets are only so smooth and silky in actual hotels because they've been washed a million times before you get between them - like, every day; whereas my sheets *cough* aren't.

[Sherri]

Sheets are one of Jammies' areas of expertise. She can tell you ALL about it.

I know only certain things -- that it's not only the threat count but the finish that makes sheets soft. I'm also the oddball in this group. I hate jersey and flannel sheets. I slept a long week on old flannel sheets once, and the pilling on them was like sleeping on dry rice.

I've bought several sets of 400 count sheets, and they vary a lot in smoothness and softness because of the finish on them -- sateen seems best. Sort of like in the fabric story, getting regular ol' muslin or the "polished" muslin, and other such things about which I once knew a lot but had to forget to make room for extensive maps to find my keys and glasses.

Ask Jammies. She knows all.

[TheQueen]

Zayrina - Now that is a soft image! I've stayed at the 350-400 count for years (Gary complains about less) and I've never felt this - they feel starched.
Greenwords - I have hope for them, if nothing else they'll stand up to the dog's scratching. That's what did in the last set.
Becs - Jersey has no cuddle factor, that's what turned me against them.
Tami- the satin pillow case is true. Mom had all satin pajamas and then went to satin sheets and pajamas. Otherwise she wasn't to get out of bed, it was like velcro.
Hattie - I remember Hawaii smelled like flowers. I'd dry outside too.
Shania - Hot! Too Hot! Menopause! Night Sweats!
Hot Mom - says the woman with two babies and potentially eight grandbabies sucking up our resources.
Big Dot - We are using the brown sheets because they hide the dog poop. It's been months since a bed wash here.
Sherri - They were "long-staple Egyptian Cotton." Oh cool: the plant they came from "is also sometimes used as an anti-fertility drug." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossypium_barbadense

[Amy in StL]

In quality terms, the best fabric is made with single ply yarns and has a single pick; but the highest thread count you can get with this type of construction is about 400.

Above that, 2 ply yarns and/or multi-picks must be used. The incremental comfort of thread counts over 300 is very little. A 300 thread count can (and usually does) feel far superior to a 1000 thread count.

[Caroline]

I have some of those blue knobby dryer balls that are supposed to replace the need for dryer sheets. They don't. But you're welcome to let them beat on the sheets for a cycle or two to see what happens. I'll bring them to lunch Tuesday.

[TheQueen]

Amy in StL - Bah! Well, we shall see. They haven't ripened yet. Maybe it's like pearls: they need the natural oils from your skin before they glow.
Caroline - yeah, I'll let you beat my sheets with your blue balls. Thanks

[mcm]

Thats disappointing to hear. I have many sets of Egyptian cotton and they get softer with each wash.

[TheQueen]

MCM - They may be getting softer, but considering how stiff they were at the beginning, I think they'll be soft in twenty years.