An open letter to my husband.
Hi. How are things there in the bathroom? Good to hear.
You know, sometimes when a man can't meet a woman's needs, the woman needs to take matters into her own hands and just take care of herself. Let's say a man has lived with a woman for 25 years and still doesn't know that she hates cream-filled chocolate. And then offers it to her and says, "I know I should have picked out a selection just for you but this was already made up." AND then refrigerates the bonus chocolate-covered strawberries because HE likes them cold.
But that's okay, because I know how to take care of myself.
Oh, yes, that is a double ribbon the Bissinger's ladies gave me because they were so moved by my story of the husband who still hasn't set up the stereo system. One (with a boyfriend who didn't clean yard waste off the driveway for 18 months) said I should follow my plan and eat it all by myself, yet still parse out one raspberry - flavored dark chocolate "bear claw" for you, for when you finish the stereo system.
See it down there in the bottom left? Doesn't it look good? You know I won't eat yours, but I'll eat at least one a day of the rest until the stereo is set up. You know you will never find this hidden box. (No, I didn't hide it in the stereo system.)