I treated myself to a three-hour superiority feast this evening. A&Es Hoarders, followed by an hour of Hoarders. Topped off by a little treat. Hoarders.
I am not a hoarder. I just cleaned out the refrigerator at Mom's, for example. I know, she's been dead for a year and a half now. Shut up! A hoarder would never have cleaned out that fridge. Because I saw one on A&E. Her name was Jill. Great sense of humor.
She fell into the Delusional Hoarder category. There were two types of Hoarders, Delusional Hoarders and Entitled Hoarders. How could you tell the difference? You wanted to slap the flies off of the Entitled Hoarders.
The Entitleds were the ones who had been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks. They had their pills, though, and they took them virtuously. Each Entitled suffered mightily through the agreed-to purges. As OTHER PEOPLE CLEANED THEIR ROTTING HOUSES they went on and on about their reactions. "My stress level is at a nine." "I'm feeling anxious. You need to stop before I hyperventilate." "Hold me, I'm having a panic attack." "I took my pills, but I'm still stressed out!"
And the awful thing is, I know I'm not a hoarder, but if I were I fear I would be an Entitled Hoarder, not an amusing Delusional Hoarder.
So, where is the line drawn between being a responsible mildly medicated person and an Entitled Ass-clown? Perhaps it's just shutting up. Perhaps I'll be safe if I shut up about "stress." If I never make people change their behavior because they're freaking me out. Damn - now I remember the last time I was stressed at work I blamed someone else for it. "Stop freaking out, Karla! Now I'm stressed." At least I didn't whine. I think I bellowed.
Okay, so that's a plan. I never mention my "stress levels" and instead I say things like, "I feel if I throw away all of Gary's old feather pillows the sky will rain dead birds down on us."
P.S. - edited to add: I know, they are not to blame. They are mentally ill. It's just I hope that I might tolerate all my potential illnesses with grace. Not dignity, that's shot to hell.