« Coping Mechanisms | Main | Anheuser-Busch* »

August 17, 2009



This is how I did it:

1. Let crap continually accumulate in the living room.
2. The Husband gets the house to the point where there are paths in the house, the only means of getting from Room A to Room B.
3. Issue ultimatums.
4. Be ignored.
5. Move out, buy a house, get a divorce and live in penury for the rest of your life.

As you can see, there were several items here I really didn't think through to their conclusion. Then again, Xman hit me and I don't think Gary's ever hit you. If he has, I will come to St. Louis and go medieval on him.


Get out the directions and work on it. Do it in front of him if your balls are big enough, behind his back if you need to be more subtle. When he realizes that you're touching HIS PROJECT, either he'll finish it, or he'll leave it to you, which would suck, but hey, at least you've got the directions.


I think Tami's on to something. At our house, neither of us is well known for finishing the big projects we start. However, as soon as the other of us gets tired enough of the project and just starts doing it, the original project do-er grudgingly joins in and we finish it together.


Tami's got the key. I've yet to be allowed to touch a project of The Husband's and finish it. The very act of touching it gets his male ego all twitchy. However, it must be done without announcement, but where he will see you. Just go in, reading instructions etc., and tinkering. Don't curse or talk to yourself. Look happy. Look interested.

I've never gotten more than 15 minutes into anything. Sometimes, all I have to do is open a box and in he swoops, guilt flapping.

Big Dot

Ah, but. There are dangers to this approach. When we were first married, I asked my husband to paint a table and when I got home he'd put gloss enamel onto BARE WOOD! Ever since then, I've done all the DIY around here - and he's let me. I've been a fool to myself. (I'm thinking of the winter afternoon when I was outside building a wall and it was beginning to get dark, and he DREW THE CURTAINS on me.)

So watch out - don't be too efficient, or Gary might come to rely on you mopping up after him.

Big Dot

By the way, I'm going away tomorrow till the end of the month, but I'll pop in when I can. If you want to know what I'm up to, I'm going to give this modren technology thing a whirl and see if I can post to my blog from my new iPhone. Oh, what wonders!


What Tami said. Tami, you should be a marriage counselor, girl.


Yeah. That's the only thing that worked for me. I'd attempt to finish it, and then Jay would swoop in to "fix" it. That way, he was the hero, and any deficiencies in the finished product were my fault.

He did it to me, too. I'll never forget his attempt to sew a mismatched button on a jacket that had been in the mending pile for ages, with buttonhole cord.


I do think Tami has the answer. I once tried to paint a bedroom in an elaborate pattern, and did not ask for help of any kind. But I was moving too slowly for someone, so help was forced upon me. I declared myself done for the day an hour later, and had plans to start it up again the next day. By 10pm the room was finished. A bit too Tom Sawyer for most, but at least I didn't have paint under my nails for a week.


Tami's got it.

Whenever I need husband to do something, I either threaten to do it myself, or begin doing it myself. It always gets his butt in gear.


Of course, then you have to bat your eyelashes and tell him how big and strong he is. Hm. No. Still not worth it.


Becs - Nope, never hit me. And no more penury - Congrats on the job(s)!
Tami - I have to say, I have the balls, but Gary might well just sit it out until I am done - then stomp around all outraged as if he hadn't seen me. He is a pisser.
Caroline - Well, who did the living room rug?
Sherri - But - but - I dont wanna do it. Even for a minute.
Big Dot - Looks like the remote blog worked. But i miss the days I didn't know where you were ("Potatoes.")
Becs - It is a good answer, but does it translate outside the home? What if he was getting an advanced degree and I wanted him to finish that? How would that work?
~Silk - Did he blame the thread? "Stupid defective thread!" That's what Gary would say.
Candy - Now I have encountered that same thing myself. Gary thinks paint is poison, it cannot be poured down the disposal, and the brushes can never be wrapped in aluminum foil to wait the next day. He finishes painting projects that day.
Magpie - Well, Gary's butt needs to be clutch-popped, tat's for sure.
Becs - Neh. He's tired of that.


You may not want to do it. That's a factor. If your desire to not do it is stronger than your desire to have it done, then you lose when you try to do it yourself.

All of my plans include being prepared to actually do it yourself without being pissed off. Without that factor, none of them work at all.


Yup, what Tami said. I don't always SINCERELY want to do it myself, but I have to start it that way.

What really pisses me off is when I really do what to do it myself. I'm not allowed to unless I scream about it.

And I've never once had to bat eyelashes or anything -- sometimes I don't even say thank you. As wise as Becs is, her experience is not universal.


Tami - I have to concede I have no skill running electronics together. Not so much a case of "wanting" to do it as not understanding volts and amps and hi-def and receivers and speakers.
Sherri - Anything I'm not "allowed" to do I do in front of him if possible. His mother isn't allowed to paint the inside of the house; I've always found that odd.


Well, here I am, a little late, but with a whole new idea! Get out the phone book, start talking about this company and that company, ones that set up sound systems. Oh, that'll piss him off! He might even start right away!


Judith - shhhhhhh! He is doing it at this VERY MOMENT. Don't scare him. It's pretty cute, he's dancing to the Ramones at the same time. (But God, yes, that would do it.

The comments to this entry are closed.