How to make tonight's dinner:
- Previous evening, make a pea soup based on chicken stock with roasted chicken bones. You must roast the bones. This is Key.
- Take the chicken meat you just tore off the bones and chill it overnight.
- Overnight, get up at 3 a.m., feel nauseated, go to bathroom, think "pork jowl!" and puke up Pea Soup with Pork Jowl and Without Amaranth. Put the rest of the Pea Soup down the garbage disposer.
- In the early evening, season your cast iron skillet by searing some steaks. Delmonico steaks. (As an aside, top off those steaks with a delightful sauce of mirin, ginger, garlic, butter and shiitake mushrooms. Your husband will complain it is too rich.)
- Take the iron skillet, wipe it out with a paper towel and set it aside.
- Take two pounds new potatoes so you can make the german potato salad with proscuitto ham.
- Boil the potatoes and while they cool prepare the sauce with the garlic and two types of oil. Feel proud you already had the sesame oil.
- Peel by hand each blessed tiny little hot red potato.
- Toss the potatoes and garlic oil and vinegar dressing with toasted cashews and ham and leftover chicken. (Thats where the reserved chicken comes in.)
- Feed some to husband, who complains it is too oily. Try some yourself and realize the recipe is seriously wrong. It is too oily! Retire to your room in high dudgeon.
- Watch the Daily Show.
- Return to the kitchen reinspired.
- Take half the oily potatoes and push them down the garbage disposer. Take the remaining potatoes and put them in the recently oiled and Delmonico-steak-seasoned cast iron skillet.
- Take your pastry blender and use it to mash up the potatoes because you can't find your potato masher. (This is also key.)
- Turn on the heat and let the mashed potato / proscuitto / garlic / chicken / cashew / vinegar / oil mixture simmer for half an hour. Turn it every half an hour after that until you have been cooking this damn thing for seven hours.
Then, you will have this:
Which, I would like to say, are finely nuanced tasty hash browns with cashews, chicken, and proscuitto. I would like to say that but I can't. It's really awful. It's oil suspended in a potato emulsification.
So, three dishes. Pea Soup: one chuck up. Steak with Sake and Shiitake: great, seriously great but yes, fatty. Potato Salad ("A Great Light Dish for a Summer Evening," ha) unspeakably bad.