Well Done, Albert Pujols

I like two types of French fries.

Type 1: Steak-n-Shake fries. I remember in high school, Stephanie Lassiter wrote an article comparing fries and said of these, "Bruce Springsteen eats these fries." I can say no more.

Type 2: Well-Done fries. Ever since I overheard a man in Memphis order his fries "well-done" I've tried to get a waitress in Saint Louis to bring me well-done fries. Not burnt; just a few more seconds, just a few more calories.

I always ask for well-done fries. Here is what happens: If I am with a group, and everyone else orders normal fries, I will be served normal fries, and I understand why. If I am with only one other person we will both get well-done fries, much to her chagrin, because that person is always Friend #3, Marcia.

Once I ordered a burger and fries at Pasta House, because you know Pasta House got its name from their fabulous burgers and fries. Of course, they were awful. Worse, they were skin-on country fries. Well-done, they were rawhide treats dipped in ketchup. I remember sitting through the entire meal with Marcia steadily glaring hatred at me as she gnawed on the withered leather fries.

Today I ditched Marcia for Marlo, and tried the fries at Pujols' Bar and Grill and Snooty Restaurant depending on when you go there, and check this out!

Ebony
and Ivory
Live together in per-fect
Har-mo-ny.

Her fries were normal, mine were well-done! It's a miracle straight from Albert Pujols' ass! (The whole "Poo-holes" thing just kills me. I'm sorry Albert. Don't come after me.)

Actually, the person to thank is Bridget, our waitress, and the chef who bothered to leave my fries in a little longer. And Albert. And Stevie Wonder. And Marlo. And Marcia, for being in a meeting at lunchtime.

Comments

[Shell]

Ever had British fries, aka chips ?

[TheQueen]

Shell - Ironically, at Pujols I ordered Fish and Chips and asked for the chips to be well-done. She asked if I really wanted "fries." British TV. Messing me up. They didnt offer me any malt vinegar either.

[Big Dot]

Power to the people! I like crispy chips too and burrow through the serving to find the crunchy ones first to savour and then just eat the rest as fuel. It has NEVER occurred to me to ask for them to be cooked well done in the first place. Doh!

[#0.75]

Does Marcia at least know you're cheating on her?

[Becs]

The Golden Corner Diner in Bound Brook NJ has the best fries ever. Steaming hot, crispy when you bite into them, yum yum yum.

[OTTami]

Really? The Golden Corner has the best fries ever? I think someone at my gym said that they have the best corned beef hash, but that can't be true. Best corned beef hash in NJ is at the Skylark Diner.

I'm a steak-fries girl, myself.

[TheQueen]

Big Dot - I know! It was a revelation when I heard the guy in Memphis do it.
.75 - Yes, she knows.
Becs - Do you have any views on the Skylark Diner? Tami is talking trash about Golden Corner.
OT Tami - I love steak-fries, especially since steak places often understand the importance of getting "well-done" when you want "well-done."

[Becs]

Skylark Diner has a very fancy menu for a diner. It only uses numbers, no dollar signs or cents, which makes me suspicious. Still, it's about eight miles from my house, so I'll try it.

But did anyone at the Skylark Diner every save anybody's life? Huh? Did they? Francisco did. And celebrity has not ruined him.

[Tami]

Jesus, Becs, do you live in my town? I'm about 8 miles from Edison, aren't I? I think I might be!

This reminds me of when I met DBK through Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. Skippy's in California. DBK and I started talking about out congressperson and we realized it was the same guy. We lived a mile from each other, but we met on the internet.

Anyway, I don't know Francisco, but I'm sure he's a really swell guy. I mean, he saved somebody's life!

[TheQueen]

Tami - Becs - No stalking, that's all I ask.