It began with this:
I rolled my eyes. "So, Facebook, you have my age and you assume I am wrinkled." As we know, obese don't crease, and I never tanned or even went outdoors, so I let this roll right off of me.
"I like her glasses," I told Facebook. "Is that Julia Roberts? She has a great smile."
Facebook sensed my vulnerability. It smoothly answered:
"Hey. Bite me." I said aptly, and refreshed the page. Middle aged women have dim teeth. So what? Facebook hit back with wrinkles ...
... and then just a generic, "You MUST hate yourself, you're old."
"Oh. And fat," Facebook continued.
"Back off, Facebook," I snarled. What was next? "WORRIED ABOUT YOUR CHINS?" "IS YOUR PUDENDA SAGGING?" "DO YOU SMELL LIKE PEE?"
Nope. Here's what I got today, not in an ad, but in its own modular window:
So, Facebook, you are going to end up like MySpace, useless and unloved. Do you want to be all young and cute like Twitter? You can be! With this special ingredient cream invented BY A MOM.