I.
"Eleven cymbals" he said suddenly.
"Huh?" I asked.
"You said I have NINE cymbals. I have eleven. Eleven that I've mounted, anyway."
"When did I say that?"
"On the blog."
So, correction: Gary has eleven cymbals. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
II.
I was in bed this morning. Gary was awake.
"Ellen, I've been thinking you might want to sell those Elton John / Billy Joel tickets."
I ran it through a few times because I was a little groggy. Then I said,
"Why on earth would I want to do that?"
"You know ... swine flu. And you on the immunosuppressants ..."
I wanted to laugh at him outright, bu he was being truly concerned. "Let's wait on that decision for a few weeks."
"It might be too late to sell the tickets, then."
"What about masks? I could wear a mask." Because I would. He'd make me take it off two feet in the door because he'd be embarrassed.
Then I started thinking, I could wear a mask that reads OFFICIAL TOUR '09 FACE MASK $50.00 ...
or I could draw the KISS tongue on it ...
or "Flu in from Miami beach B.O.A.C."
or "Pigs! Rude, Vile Pigs!"
I think you have something there, seriously. Get out there manufacturing and distributing, woman! And when it's all over and you have a warehouse full of no longer-wanted masks, just ship them over to China and Thailand - there's a steady market there. This could be your fortune, waiting to be made!
[5% is all I ask.]
Posted by: Big Dot | April 28, 2009 at 12:37 AM
First I went "Awww". And then I went "What?!?"
Thus endeth the Gary Lesson.
Posted by: Becs | April 28, 2009 at 09:22 AM
In case Gary is terribly worried; I'd take those tickets off of you should the need arise. I never got around to buying tickets and my boyfriend isn't a fan. But if I had to do it to save a friend; he'd have to go along with it. We won't tell him that I've never actually met you or anything!
Posted by: Amy in StL | April 28, 2009 at 02:42 PM
Mind you, I know absolutely nothing about cymbals, but he *mounts* them? Eleven of them? It all sounds very twisted.
Kick-ass idea on the masks. Tell Gary he needs one too, and not to think of it as wearing a mask so much as mounting one.
Posted by: Mare | April 28, 2009 at 04:44 PM
Oh Gary, real men can have a single-digit number of cymbals. But then again, we know you're more manly than most.
I'd be more than happy to accept your tickets if it will lead to marital bliss.
Posted by: Caroline | April 28, 2009 at 08:14 PM
WHAT?! "It might be too late to sell the tickets, then."?!?
Billy Joel.
Elton John.
'Nuf said.
Posted by: #3 | April 28, 2009 at 11:09 PM
Big Dot - How about "I survived the swine flu pandemic of '09?" If you do all the work I'll sell you the idea for a dollar.
Becs - Yeah. I do that all the time.
Amy in StL - I'll remember that. (Actually, I figure Elton will cancel before we'd have to, see this: http://tinyurl.com/dyrqow )
Mare - You should see his ride cymbal! Hah! Drum humor.
Caroline - I can use the ride cymbal joke here too!
3 - Actually, someone on the BNL message board is selling his and is unable to.
Posted by: TheQueen | April 28, 2009 at 11:39 PM