Oh, hi there. I'm back. I woke up this afternoon healed. A Miracle! But what else would you expect from a God whose head-cold intercession is summoned by the in-laws who pray at this shrine?
Pretty impressive, no? It's a real shrine from a nunnery that made it into Gary's old room.
Gary is truly a saint. This morning he woke me up with "Can you believe my birthday is tomorrow?"
"What? Oh, no."
"And it's been my birthday week all week. And my birthday month all month."
Isn't that remarkable? First his Dad was sick then I got sick and he completely ignored the fact it was his birthday month. So of course tonight we went to Best Buy and he got anything he wanted on my dime. Of course, if he'd been buying for anyone else you'd never hear him say, "No, that's too expensive." I'll need to step out again tomorrow on his actual birthday and pick up something he can unwrap, and then we go cymbal-shopping on Saturday.
FINALLY I'm up for cymbal shopping again. Shopping and fertilizing and weeding and digging up the cutting bed so we can plant veggies in our soon-to-be Victory garden. Then in a few weeks the All-American Rejects and the next day the Good Friday Lobster Slaughter GNO. Ug, and before the LobSlau I have to take the Nativity down. Hot Mom did suggest since it's Good Friday I just move the Baby Jesus out of the manger and pop him right up on to the cross.
Sigh. Good to be back among the living.
Hot Mom's suggestion was frickin' hilarious. You should really save that little gesture for LobSlau'09. I'm bringing the Patron and someone is driving me home or giving me a blanket and a bucket.
Posted by: 3 | March 19, 2009 at 11:52 PM
3 - Sadly, Baby Christ has been in the ceramic manager for 2000 years and his ceramic butt has melded to the ceramic straw and he's like that fat lady who was trapped in the toilet and her skin melded to the seat. Essentially, He and the Manger are one.
Posted by: TheQueen | March 20, 2009 at 12:02 AM
Oh, and re: The Shrine: Oh. My. God. (And I mean, MY God.)
Glad you're feeling better!
Posted by: 3 | March 20, 2009 at 12:05 AM
Although stricken by a lurgy myself, I am recoiling in horrified disbelief at the photo. They have that IN THEIR HOUSE??? Gary got out just in time (at least, I hope he did).
Posted by: Big Dot | March 20, 2009 at 12:45 AM
HOLY GOOD LORD!!
you weren't kidding about the inlaws and their religion. whoa!
ok glad you are back amoung the living.
and go LobSlau '09!!!
Posted by: Mrs. Hall | March 20, 2009 at 08:24 AM
Whoa Camel! That is truly frightening, even worse that the gnome. All I can think of is the movie 'Carrie'. Your Moms-in-law doesn't resemble Piper Laurie, does she?
Too bad about the Baby Jesus, that could've been a fun new family trad.
Glad you're feeling better - did the laptop recover as well? If not, you could visit the shrine in an attempt to heal/exorcize it?
Posted by: Mare | March 20, 2009 at 10:21 AM
ooooh, 3, I really can't recommend Patron & lobster. Gaah. Perhaps a simple gin & lemonade. Oh, and go easy on the butter is my advice.
Queen, it's a good thing they are praying FOR you and not against you.
Posted by: gaoo | March 20, 2009 at 10:47 AM
I'm scared.
- Ralph Wiggum
Posted by: Becs | March 20, 2009 at 02:26 PM
I'm two degrees away from The All American Rejects.
1) I used to bowl on a league with Tyson's Grandma.
2) I substitute bowled on a league with Nick's Grandma.
3) My oldest son is dating a cousin of Tyson's.
4) Another cousin of Tyson's was one of my interns years ago.
5) Nick's family's flower shop did the flowers for my wedding.
I'm practically related, but I've never met any of them.
Posted by: Sherry | March 20, 2009 at 04:22 PM
I've been drawn back to this photo again. Please tell me those aren't relics in the glass jars - you know, Gary's tonsils and adenoids, that sort of thing.
Posted by: Big Dot | March 20, 2009 at 05:39 PM
Thanks for the warning, gaoo. I may give the gin and lemonade a try. :-)
Posted by: #3 | March 20, 2009 at 09:04 PM
I know it's none of my business, but I get the shudders just thinking about mixing lobster and tequila. Oh nooooooo. Wish I could join you girls for the party, 'cause I know it would be a blast. Too bad about the thousand miles or whatever it is between us.
Posted by: gaoo | March 21, 2009 at 05:18 PM
I just noticed the flesh colored lightbulbs. What the----?
Posted by: gaoo | March 21, 2009 at 07:13 PM
Could you nail the whole manger to the cross?
Posted by: magpie | March 21, 2009 at 09:48 PM
And, given that that couldn't be even a Daguerrotype of the Christ Child, is it really proper to tuck family photos into a shrine?
Posted by: Big Dot | March 22, 2009 at 02:13 AM
3 - Well, the cough is back, damnit.
Big Dot - Actually, according to Gary, the in-laws post-altar are preferable to the pre-altar in-laws.
Mrs Hall - I'm making a LobSlau countown timer tomorrow
Mare - Yeah. I find it so alarming I've been afraid to post the picture for three years.
gaoo - I'm just happy I'm not in the pocket reserved for Saint Jude they have on the side of the altar.
Becs - Snort!
Sherry - That is too cool!
Big Dot - Oh, no, just candles and handy jars of holy water. I suppose the tall plastic container of Holy Water on the left side by the Virgins wasn't shrine-like.
3 - It seems Gary was not talking out of his ass at lunch - gin is big in Maine.
gaoo - Yeah .... I dunno. I don't think even wikipedia knows. Maybe they give the graven images a more lifelike complexion.
Magpie - Damn. Ceramac. Oh, but I could super-glue Jesus up there. Bt then there'd be Christmas again.
Big Dot - Proper? Do they care? Jesus is family, too, don;t forget. The jars question made me inspect that photo and I noticed there is no photo of my potentially crippled ass on that shrine.
Posted by: TheQueen | March 22, 2009 at 03:28 AM
This makes me reminisce for my friend Kristen's grandma. When Kristen was in junior high, grandma could no longer live on her own. Kristen ended up sharing a bedroom with grandma for years, and the room featured a similar shrine. Once Kristen and I went on a roadtrip in college and her grandma hobbled down the driveway sprinkling holy water on my Saturn as we drove away. maybe that's why that car was cursed to most costly, bizarre repairs of any I've ever known.
Posted by: Caroline | March 22, 2009 at 09:08 PM
Caroline - Perhaps the water sublimated off the car and onto the two of you. Who knows? Did you stay pure on that trip?
Posted by: TheQueen | March 23, 2009 at 12:38 AM
I think the naughtiest we got was sitting in a hot tub with some boys we'd just met. That doesn't seem bad enough to make my interior door panels fall off and my fuse box burn out, locking the car in 1st gear on the interstate.
Posted by: Caroline | March 23, 2009 at 07:58 PM
Caroline! Sperm can live in hot tubs! And I just read on Avitables blog there is this monstrous thing boys do called pearl diving. Ask Marcia.
Posted by: TheQueen | March 23, 2009 at 10:59 PM