In every "Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage" article, "change your appearance with a wig" is at least in the top three.
I've always wanted shiny long blonde hair, and I know Gary's probably always wanted [a woman with] shiny long blonde hair. Given his interest in The Girls Next Door, he must crave women who are blonde, dumb, thin and busty. And now with the wig I got on-line I can give him three out of four! (You can't fake thin.)
So the wig came today as we were getting ready to go to his Mom's house for the birthdays of the niece and nephew. I snuck it off the porch, put it on when Gary was showering, looked in the mirror and thanked God for giving me brown hair. If you want to love your hair, walk a mile in someone else's hair.
When the shower stopped, I chatted with him outside the door until he came out and saw me. Immediate laughter. No other immediate reaction. And there was no question about that. I looked.
"Nothing," he said, gesturing into his general naked hip area.
I turned around and shielded my face.
I giggled and wiggled my ample ass.
"Hey. Hey now! None of that. No no no." He started to push me away. "There will be no sex on the way to my Mom's. I can't think about sex if I'm going to my Mom's." I knew I had him, only I'd have to wait.
However, you can make you dog look really sexy before you go to Gary's Mom's.
Dumb blonde dog:
Dumb blonde dog begins to realize his sexuality:
Dumb blonde dog rolls about on some sexxxy flannel pajamas he has found:
Dumb blonde dog exposes himself and works in some tongue action.
Well, since those photos were taken we've had the birthday celebration - and oh - there is nothing more humorous than watching a Yemeni-bound 24-year old trying to eat lasagna with his hand. He tried his hand, he tried pinching it with a piece of bread in his hand, and then he had to resort to the infidel gold-plate flatware of the Great Satan K-Mart.
Anyway, we're back and it's late. All I've done with The Wig is brush it. I think I might need to flesh out my Fat Girl Next Door persona. I think she needs a Southern accent and maybe a little hiccup at the end of the giggle. Maybe I'll give her a drug habit, I don't know.