« DoppleGary: The Reckoning | Main | Dove of Prophecy »

November 16, 2008



Not to be contrary but I've heard drowning is actually really, really loud. The person who told me this used the word upsettingly. And tsunami's leave standing water, which leads to mold and disease.

But tsunamis have a finite arm of destruction, as do tornadoes, earthquakes, and hurricanes. All of them either run out of energy or reach eventually. Fires live on air and things that are flammable, which is most of the world. They could go on forever, or at least until they hit a geographic barrier. Fires totally win.

Plus, I find being hot really unpleasant.


On the other hand, fire is the only one of the disasters man has a chance of stopping. I find that reassuring.

And you skipped landslides.


Oh, would sinkholes classify as earthquakes? What about dust and sand storms? That's got death by suffocation/having all your skin eroded off.

Such a cheerful subject ;)

Big Dot

Volcanic eruption gives you fire, poisonous gases, boulders raining down, choking ash clouds and usually an earthquake or two as well. Seems to have most of the bases covered. And oooh, look, my city sits right in the middle of a volcanic field!

Big Dot

Oh, forgot the lahar, when the crater lake of an existing dormant volcano breaks through the side and pours down into the valleys. So that's flood as well as all the rest. I reckon I've got trumps.


Should we toss in plagues of locusts?


I think we have a few days before the California fires get here. You know, after they cross the Rockies and then Kansas and western Missouri, but if it makes you feel any better, have Gary hose down the house before going to bed.

Also buy a super soaker and keep it under your bed.


Having worked in news for several years and lived in Southern California for even longer than that (read: my whole life), one of the things I have learned about fires is this:

If one needs to evacuate, ALWAYS leave your car running when you are packing it with clothes/kids/pets/other family members/TVs/mementos/whatever, because if you do not and you attempt to turn on your car when the fire is too close, there may not be enough oxygen in the air for your engine to turn over and you Will. Be. Stuck. I KNOW. I've heard of way too many horror stories involving people who didn't leave in time. It's awful.

Amy in StL

I've always been afraid of drowning, it seems such a terrible way to go. Currently, I think hateful ex-boyfriends are the worst natural disaster. And if you don't think they're a natural disaster, then you've not had one bad enough. Because really, if they're good and awful, they've touched every part of your life with their hatefulness, they've crushed your self esteem and they still want to be friends. But maybe that's just me, currently.


Yep, fire, that's a big scary one for me, too. Phobic. Big time. If I could have Ma Maisonette fitted with sprinklers, I would. Honestly.

A relative-by-marriage fell asleep and her cigarette torched the couch she was on. She lived. For awhile. Someone should have just put a big wad of morphine in her IV drip and let her die. Shudder.

I don't think there's any "nice" way to die. If it doesn't hurt when you die, it sure as hell can hurt leading up to it.

Big Dot

In your sleep has to be good. As long as you haven't just previously been dribbling on a non-colourfast bright green coverlet, that is. That's a final image you wouldn't want your discoverer (presumably a loved one) to be left with.

Or how about suddenly, like a 16 ton weight falling on you like in the cartoons? Bit messy afterwards, but that wouldn't be your concern.


Erin - Loud ...why? Because of the internal and external pressure in your ears?
Sherri - Landslides, as Erin says, are finite. But they have the advantage of not being hot.
Big Dot - So, during a volcanic eruption, would you die of suffocation or burning or skin erosion?
Sherri - Pah. Only flesh-eating locusts need apply.
3 - You don't believe in Santa Ana?
Catherine - That thought has stayed with me all day. Thanks.
Amy in StL - I hear you. None of mine ever wanted to be friends. It does seem like that would be a sick little coda.
Becs - I think Big Dot is right, sleep is the way to go. Oh, and the GP said that "Congestive heart Failure is one of the worst ways to die" but that lung failure was a very peaceful way.
Big Dot - You worry about the loved ones mental images, but dismiss those concerns regarding 16 ton weights. Hmm.

Big Dot

Well, after a 16 ton weight's fallen on you, we're hardly talking open coffin, now are we?


Big Dot - The best way to flatten your stomach is to have a 16 ton weight fall on it.


Bah, humbug.

The comments to this entry are closed.