Mac the Dog is using his effluvia to run our lives.
He has had what Gary calls soft-serve poo. The vet says Mac has an infection, so now he's on a course of anti-biotics and anti-spasmodics. That, plus Metamucil sprinkled on the food, resulted in perfect poo. For a while.
We came home Friday to Blasts of Crap all over the wood floor. Watery poop puddles surround by a perfect spray pattern. Very nasty. Dog wouldn't eat. Great concern. Back to the vet.
The vet explained that Mac still had an infection, so more anti-everythings, and that perhaps it wasn't a good idea to feed a dog ready-made Tyson beef chunks.
So we put Mac on Chicken and Rice. Ready-made chicken and ready-made rice (even though I told Gary I can cook rice, for God's sake). Plus a little bit of chicken or cheese to take the pills.
Mac is refusing the pills, which come from me, and lapping up the chicken and rice which comes from Gary.
Gary just asked, "How do I keep this rice from getting dry?"
"Well, if I'D MADE THE RICE I would put it in the microwave with a little water. I don't know about this Minute rice bag stuff." Sniff.
So, this was the conversation in my computer room the last two minutes.
I said, "The dog's poo was more normal this morning. B ut he still has to get all better before we take him to the kennel at the end of the month."
"No problem. He likes his chicken and rice, especially when it's all hot from the microwave."
(Silence and a look from me.)
He said, "No, I won't tell the kennel to microwave his food." (And toss the chicken with the rice, then shape it into a cone, and break and sprinkle a Metamucil capsule on top.)
"Which pill did he throw up this morning?" I asked, "I'll look it up - Damn. No, I won't. The Internet's down."
"Uh-oh, I can hear him vomiting again." Gary rushed into the other room. "Oh! Mac just puked into the router."
Obviously, since you're reading this, Gary got the hairdryer and fixed the router. But I think it was very spiteful of the dog.
Try that refrigerated dog food at Schnuck's. They have chicken and rice. I cut a slice, heat it for 20 seconds in the microwave, then mush it up. Ricky loves it, and his poop is spectacular. Clean-up's a breeze!
I thought about waiting until work to tomorrow to discuss the spectacular poop clean-up since we're all so stacked on top of each other and can be easily heard.
Posted by: #3 | September 07, 2008 at 09:30 PM
Poor Baby! Not you, the dog!
Posted by: Judith | September 08, 2008 at 11:41 AM
My dog has had issues similar to Mac lately as well, to a lesser degree. Today I found a dried up spot of something that apparently came out of her some days ago, hiding in an out-of-the-way spot. "Wow! Now I know why that strange smell has been hanging around for days in this house!", I thought, feeling like the biggest slob and worst dog owner in the world. Thankfully there was only a rug compromised here...
Posted by: kristie | September 08, 2008 at 07:46 PM
3 - I'm glad we had a chance to refer to your dog's specTACular stool today.
Judith - Oh he's happy making us dance.
Kristie - I can't smell it anymore.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 08, 2008 at 11:26 PM
This is why I prefer big dogs, they learn to do, and will do all pooping outside.
When I was a teen we had a spectacular and brilliant Malamute German Shepherd mix named Nickie. She was indoors by herself and got sick with diarrhea. Having no escape and being a keen observer of human behavior, she backed her butt up to the toilet and pooped all down the side. She got a lot of praise for her effort.
The only little dog I ever had, a Pomeranian, would gleefully shit all over the house. I still loved the little rat.
Posted by: Zayrina | September 09, 2008 at 01:37 PM
Zayrina - OH mygod. Nickie was a spectacular dog. THAT is a spectacular poop.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 09, 2008 at 09:58 PM