On Dogs. By Rudyard Kipling.

I hate it when dogs die, especially excellent dogs like Marcia / Friend #3's Ricky. He isn't gone yet, but let me tell you this dog was a pooper. He telegraphed his intentions, he did his business, and he picked up a pine cone to let you know he was ready to go back in. He indeed produces spectacular poop.

In addition, he does all the love and loyalty stuff so many admire in dogs.

After he's gone, we will try to comfort Marcia as best we can, and then when a discreet mourning period has passed we will send Marcia this poem and hope it makes her laugh as much as it did the first day we found it on the Internet:

I Wish Someone Had Given Jesus a Dog
I wish someone had given Jesus a dog
As loyal and loving as mine
To sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes
And adore Him for being divine.
As our Lord grew to manhood His faithful dog
Would have followed Him all through the day
While He preached to the crowds and made the sick well
And knelt in the garden to pray.
It is sad to remember that Christ went away
To face death alone and apart
With no tender dog following close behind
To comfort its Master's Heart.
And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn
How happy He would have been
As His dog kissed His hands and barked its delight
For The One who died for all men.
Well, the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine
the old pal so dear to me
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone
Knowing they're in eternity.
Day after day, the whole day through
Wherever my road inclined
Four feet said, "I am coming with you!"
And trotted along behind.

by
Rudyard Kipling

Well, no, as it turns out. Rudyard Kipling did not pen I Wish Someone Had Given Jesus a Dog, even on his off day. He did write a number of sappy dog poems, but none have the genius that is I Wish Someone Had Given Jesus a Dog.

However, one does contain a middle stanza with the "Four-feet said, 'I am coming with you!' " part, but but it is mercifully shorter.

And it isn't about Jesus' dog.  

Jesus' immortal dog, Rex of Rex. He was the Alpha and Omega dog.  He ate Lamb of God with Rice. On a tasty bed of Almighty Dog. You could go on and on.

Comments

[judith]

That's great, I never heard it before. Gotta love your dog!

[TheQueen]

Judith - I bet the Virgin Mary would have made that dog into stew.

Dogs, I like. Really Bad Poems, not so much.

[#3]

I thought to myself, "Is Ellen trying to make me cry?" No, Ellen is trying to make me vomit.

[TheQueen]

3 - I wish someone had given Moses a dog. They'd scamper right thru the Red Sea. He'd snap at the frogs that rained from the sky, on the burning bush he would pee.

[sue]

I love dogs.

[judith]

I, myself, not being one bit religious, thought y'all were serious! Anyhoo, I cut it and sent it to the religious folks I know. I actually did get some weepers! What- ever blows your skirt up!

[TheQueen]

Sue - I don't love dogs enough to make up for that poem. I don't love JESUS enough to make up for that poem.
Judith - Okay, I can see how some people might love dogs and Jesus enough to ignore the horror of that poem. And I feel a little bad that I don't write poetry and here I am judging it but send me to Hell!

[diane]

This is a wonderful peom, Jesus should have also had a horse.

[TheQueen]

Diane (Hello!) - Jesus had a donkey he rode into Jerusalem, that's kind of like a horse.

[Sandman]

Queenie, I love ya; but dog stew by Mother Mary I just can't buy. Jews are forbidden to eat all sorts of things, and dogs are amongst the verboten. If her eldest boy had had a pet lobster, she couldn't have cooked that either.

And re: to Diane, look again. The ass he rode in on wasn't his. He borrowed it from a man in town.

[TheQueen]

Sandman - (Hi Sandman) - such an eye for detail you have! Love it.