Forgive me for not giving a prompt update on Dave Louis, but something so remarkable happened after it was over that I must blog that first. Like Memento. Especially since I have yet to download Dave Louis photos.
At Dave Louis I once again thought myself the oldest of the group. Thankfully, Carlos H________ corrected me. I was so grateful I drove him to Ted Drewe's where I became fully hopped up on frozen custard. I blame the frozen custard buzz for my actions.
Carlos and I were driving back, and at a stoplight, which was coincidentally the stoplight by my Grandceil's house, and I heard the classic VROOM challenge from the car in the next lane.
"Oh. Lovely," Carlos commented.
The light changed, tires in the next lane squealed, and needless the punk in the black sports car "took" me.
Incidentally, I had to research this phrase when I got home, just to make sure I used it correctly when I yelled at the next stoplight, "Wooooo! Big Man! You just took a 46 year old woman! You just took your MOM!" Your Mom in a Mini Cooper. Which had the windows rolled up, so it wasn't as if I was challenging him.
"VROOM" said the black sports car.
"Don't do it," Carlos said, as the light changed. Carlos is a reasonable man, but I already had it in first gear, and as I said before, I had custard in my blood.
I think I took the punk by surprise. I think my Mini was surprised how fast the tachometer got into the red zone. All I know is that when the black sports car pulled into the next lane I was there at the light waiting for him.
"Oh. He's going to pull out a gun," Carlos stated pleasantly. But there were no guns drawn; the punk wouldn't even meet my gaze, because I was ready to yell, "How do you like me now? Who's your Mommy? WHO'S YOUR MOMMY?" The punk was Asian; maybe he wouldn't look me in the eye because of some cultural constraints. He turned right on the next alleyway.
Perhaps I can take the Michael Phelps' approach and credit someone else's criticism as a motivation my winning. Hmm. A few weeks ago the Apple iPhone Saleschild said in disbelief, "YOU have Panic At The Disco on your iTunes?" If that salesboy last week hadn't reversed himself as fast as that black sports car accelerated tonight, I might have been fired up enough tonight to get out and demand that punk's pink slip.
Please, on my behalf, feel free to kick as much male ass as you possibly can. The closer to 25, the better. Kick hard.
Posted by: Becs | August 17, 2008 at 06:27 AM
you kicked butt in a mini? you are beyond cool.
Posted by: magpie | August 17, 2008 at 08:06 AM
It sounds like your stoplights aren't well timed.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | August 17, 2008 at 09:12 AM
That frozen custard is some serious stuff. If you start finding reasons you need to "just have a little more" make sure you find a support group.
Posted by: Shania | August 17, 2008 at 09:54 AM
Momento is one of the greatest movies EVER. I owe it. Damn, I want to watch it now.
Posted by: | August 17, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Who is Carlos and where was Gary?
Posted by: Caroline | August 17, 2008 at 12:53 PM
If you are now thinking of installing the hydraulics to allow you to make your mini bounce up and down at stop lights, particularly to challenge young men to drag race your Wii-wielding, spastic-coloned, middle-aged ass, it is now time for an intervention.
Posted by: #3 (since now I'm abbreviated) | August 17, 2008 at 05:19 PM
Becs - Well, it did feel good.
Magpie - I had the element of surprise.
Tasterspoon - Oh, well yeah. It's down by the railroad tracks. On the right side, of course.
Shania - I had a custard hangover today. OH! And get this - they dont make chocolate custard - they just mix syrup in with the regular custard. I FEEL BETRAYED.
"" - (Hi, ""!) You are completely unidentifiable. I even tried to read your comment backwards to find the answer. I think I'll call you Memento.
Caroline - See today's post. Gary was home.
3 - That was so beautiful I read it out loud to Gary.
Posted by: TheQueen | August 17, 2008 at 11:54 PM
Sorry I blanked myself out. How foreboding...
Posted by: 0.75 - not blank | August 18, 2008 at 08:10 AM
Dude, YOU JUST GOT OWNED BY YOUR MOM is my new favorite phrase, and I plan to yell it from my scooter at every opportunity.
Brilliant. Custard in my blood, indeed.
Posted by: Tracy Lynn | August 18, 2008 at 12:53 PM
.75 - Spooky
Tracy Lynn (Hi, Tracy Lynn!) - Oh and you had me at "I'll Punch You In The Tits" I need to set aside some time to read you. And it's "You got owned?" Now I know.
Posted by: TheQueen | August 18, 2008 at 11:48 PM
I'm 42 and have Panic at the Disco on my iTunes. We're hip, baby. BTW, I'm over here from Dave's.
Posted by: Karl | August 21, 2008 at 08:33 PM
Karl (Hi, Karl!) - Did you notice all the PAtTheD songs sound the same? It's as if they planned for people to buy them off iTunes and not as an album. A CD, I mean...
Oh! And say hi to Dave for me!
Posted by: TheQueen | August 22, 2008 at 12:11 AM