or, Green Dress math.
From the photo above
Subtract Gary to the power of ten years ago.
Carry the green dress.
Take (last year's Steven Page * 75%), giving you the present day fractional Steven Page:
Add the green dress, resulting in:
(Concert photos courtesy of Laurel)
See, it's a magic dress that fits everyone who wears it.
So, you see why he had trouble keeping his pants on - I think he had to hitch up his jeans ten times.
And after this shot he did tear the bodice half off. I wasn't making that up.
Incidentally, the new slimmer Steven has really rocked Gary's self esteem. It is as if Gary's a teenage girl and Steven is a supermodel giving Gary an unrealistic body image to live up to. I've tried telling him Steven is in danger of Davy Jones syndrome - he'll become the member of the band who is so pretty he loses his appeal - but Gary won't buy it.
And, speaking of unrealistic body image, I will cop to the current value of me photo above, but that inflated photo has to be the worst photo of me ever.