My poor dog is exhausted. Gary has the flu, and the dog is really earning his keep by snuggling with Gary's sick self. Mac the Dog just trundled into this room and flung himself on the floor.
"Jesus. What a baby," his eyes said. "He's really bringing me down. Do you still have those pretzels?"
What would make the dog think he has to stay with the sick member of the litter? He could be hanging out with me and wallowing in the down comforter. But I guess it's his job.
In related news, I picked up a book of "Lateral Thinking Puzzles" and this was one:
Puzzle: Part of the Police Manual gives instructions in a language few of the policemen speak. Why?
Hint: Very few, if any, criminals speak this language. It is chosen for its rarity. A handful of words are included, but they are important.
Answer: The instructions given to police dogs are normally in a language not often spoken in the US, such as Hungarian or Czech. This is to make it unlikely that any person other than the trained police officers will be able to control the dog.
*Czech for "Cuddle!"
Does Mac cuddle upon Czech command?
Posted by: Caroline | March 13, 2008 at 11:26 AM
I've heard of this.
Posted by: sue | March 13, 2008 at 11:56 AM
I went to visit The Seeing Eye training center and one of the worst things you can say to one of the dogs is "fwee". It's the ultimate word of seeing eye dog correction, apparently.
I hope they never run into Elmer Fudd running for president. Or counting above two.
Posted by: Becs | March 13, 2008 at 01:31 PM
I guess they better hope that we don't have a huge influx of immigration from that country!
Posted by: Amy in StL | March 13, 2008 at 01:40 PM
Caroline - Let me try it - No. Perhaps I'm saying it wrong.
Sue - Hopefully too many criminals haven't.
Becs - Of course, now I am compelled to find a (retired) seeing-eye dog and mess with her head.
Amy in StL - Doesnt Saint Louis have a huge Czech community? Or is that Croatian?
Posted by: TheQueen | March 13, 2008 at 08:58 PM
St. Louis has a large Bosnian community, but Wilbur, NE is in big trouble.
Tell Mac, "zastavit sedění dále má hlava."
Translation: Stop sitting on my head.
Posted by: Caroline | March 13, 2008 at 09:40 PM
The elephants at the zoo here are trained in Hindu or Swahili or some such jungly language in the hope that no-one's going to be able to sing out "Roll over!" when the keepers are scrubbing their backs in the bath. Fortunately our thousands of corner-shop owners, sub-continental to a man, are very well-behaved citizens.
Posted by: TravelSkite | March 13, 2008 at 11:13 PM
I think it's awfully precocious of us Americans to assume there are no criminals out there boning up on their Czech.
Posted by: Candy | March 14, 2008 at 01:27 PM
I said boning..
Posted by: Candy | March 14, 2008 at 01:28 PM
They could try Klingon.
Posted by: Zayrina | March 14, 2008 at 01:57 PM
It would be pretty hilarious if it turned out there was a people-language that dogs just happened to be fluent in all this time, just nobody thought to try.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | March 14, 2008 at 02:07 PM
This is driving me crazy. You always respond to all the new comments.
Posted by: Caroline | March 20, 2008 at 07:55 PM
Caroline - Hey - what the? You are right. How did I do that?
Big Dot - Well, if they are African elephants they might be Swahili and not need to be trained.
Candy - What we need are Czech points at the border.
Zayrina - What? And light a fuse under the frustrated Trek population?
TasterSpoon - Maybe it's selective, like they understand every word in every language, except for "pee" or "poop."
Posted by: TheQueen | March 21, 2008 at 12:30 AM