I am back from Atlanta and as promised, I did spend the plane flight preparing for the next trip: the one to Miami to catch the cruise. I made a list of things to bring, and more important, a list of things to leave behind.
Gary didn't make this second list. That is why he was inspired just tonight to buy two new suitcases, because all the ones we have now are too big, or too small. These new ones are just right. Just right for his tennis shoes and his dress shoes. And the special Lush shampoo that matches the special Lush man perfume aftershave.
This is my list of things I will not take on the cruise:
Guitar: Last year, I brought Uncle. Mind you, every moment I was awake, there was live professionally-played music. I could have floated on the case if we sank, otherwise it was dead weight.
iPod: I took my iPod last year. On a music cruise. See above. That iPod Nano took up a square inch of space in my purse.
Purse: Once you empty my purse of credit cards (no Macy's on the ocean), iPod, cell phone (no cell towers on the ocean) and makeup, it's an empty purse.
Formal attire: Formal night on this cruise is "Green Dress Night." Since I'm bringing my green silk pajamas, I'm wearing them. I'll be dressed and I'll be in green, plus I'll wear my pearls as a gesture to "formal." I am going to go green by re-using my pajamas, recycling my green formal which hasn't fit for forty pounds, and reducing my luggage.
Re-using is an important part of bring green. That's why I'm not bringing any of my vibrators, because you know my right hand loves Steven.
Makeup: Because, why. Seriously, I'll sweat it off faster than my hair frizzes. Oh, and if I had any Spanx you could add Spanx to this list.
On the Bubble: the swimsuit. I can't decide. Should I bring it? I have no plans to swim, but maybe I should just in case we evacuate. I wouldn't even consider it, but Gary went out tonight and bought a swimsuit just in case he was required to swim. And a bigger suitcase to pack it in.
Take the swimsuit! Remember, it isn't just about swimming. There's a sauna, a steamroom and somewhere, there have to be about half a dozen hot tubs to get in. If you're worried and all girly about "Oooo, someone will think I am not the sylph I once was", don't be. It's likely you will never see these people (and if you do, you won't recognize them) again. And hey - don't you all strip down to emulate General Butt Naked, anyway?
Posted by: Becs | January 24, 2008 at 03:34 AM
This is completely unacceptable.
How am I supposed to be entertained?
It just has to be all about you.
Posted by: Zayrina | January 24, 2008 at 07:37 AM
I'm so jealous. We were supposed to go on that cruise, and I was so looking forward to meeting you!...but life happened, and we can't. If you feel a ghost behind your shoulder, it's me. Oh, and kiss the cute one for me.
Posted by: ~~Silk | January 24, 2008 at 10:04 AM
I'm with Becs. Bring the suit!
Posted by: ajooja | January 24, 2008 at 11:28 AM
Take the swimsuit and the vibrator. I went out and BOUGHT a swimsuit for my cruise (haven't owned one in 20 years). No vibrator for me, though, as I will be sharing a room with my parents. So it is up to you to represent for all of us pervs.
Oh, and have some hot sweaty monkey sex with Steve for me, mmkay?
Posted by: Jammies | January 24, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Take the swimsuit and the vibrator. I went out and BOUGHT a swimsuit for my cruise (haven't owned one in 20 years). No vibrator for me, though, as I will be sharing a room with my parents. So it is up to you to represent for all of us pervs.
Oh, and have some hot sweaty monkey sex with Steve for me, mmkay?
Posted by: Jammies | January 24, 2008 at 12:20 PM
I didn't quite get that Jammies, can you type it again?
Posted by: Zayrina | January 24, 2008 at 01:21 PM
Take the swimsuit, you never know. I'm taking my Zune (mp3 player) with me. It has episodes of Scrubs and BNL and Guster concerts that I can watch while I'm hanging around in the airport. I'm in cabin 7335; look me up if you get a chance.
Posted by: Melissa | January 24, 2008 at 07:27 PM
Becs - There is a hot tub directly behind where the band will perform on the Lido deck. Hmm. Oops - forgot - they used to diagnose MS by putting people in hot tubs and seeing how bad they felt after.
Zayrina - well, for this week it does. Except, really it will be about Gary.
~~Silk - awwMAAAAN - I was crossing my fingers that was the plan, then I read that plans fell through - crap.
ajooja - But really, when there's a good chance it will be just a waste of space? Of course, I did hear today that cruise pools are filled with salt water. That might be novel.
Jammies - Can't bring the vibrator, ummm... it's too noisy. See my response to Melissa, below.
Zayrina - (writing) - "note: have hot, sweaty monkey".. wait. Not hot sweaty MOTEL monkey sex? Without the motel aspect, it's just hot and sweaty and ...monkey.
Melissa - Well, stomp on the floor just for fun, because I'm in 6334, almost directly below you. You'll recognize me because I'm the one with the pimple by my nose so huge that my cataract-blinded mom commented on its size today.
Posted by: TheQueen | January 24, 2008 at 08:10 PM
You can't take the vibrator because you have a pimple on your nose?
And I didn't say "hot sweaty motel monkey sex" because you would be having hot sweaty cruise ship monkey sex, which is even better. Tell Gary you're doing it for another MS'er--I'm sure he'll understand.
Posted by: Jammies | January 24, 2008 at 09:55 PM
Jammies - okay, hot sweaty cabin monkey sex. And you know how noise carries through cruise ships? Melissa is right above me, you see.
Posted by: TheQueen | January 24, 2008 at 10:17 PM
I didn't know cruise ship floors were that thin (or that you were that noisy!).
You'll be on the cruise with a Lush celebrity, and she's from Ohio! http://www.lush.com/cgi-bin/lushdb/ffvote/zoom2.html?vid=2
Posted by: Jammies | January 25, 2008 at 05:41 PM
Jammies - I will try to sniff her out. Ahahahaha. I kill me.
Posted by: TheQueen | January 26, 2008 at 12:35 AM