As it turned out, the Pancreas test wasn't this Friday, but then I got a call from Friend #1, Catherine the Red.
"I need help. I'm going to the Symphony, and I need a little black dress."
Catherine and I are each other's What Not to Wear cruel shopping guides. I'll come out of the dressing room and Catherine says "No. No I can not be your friend if you wear that." I poke the spots on Catherine that are bulging a bit to see if they can be pantyhose-controlled.
And, now she needed a little black dress for the Symphony! It reminded me of my teenage years when I worked at the public library, and a very little girl came up to me and said, "I want to learn to read." All I could do was tell her Mom and pick out the best Dr. Seuss books, but still. And now Catherine my young friend needed an LBD.
She had already put some dresses aside at the Saint Louis Galleria Dillards. I brought her more. It came down to a tie.
The first was a dress we titled Catherine Goes to the Symphony. It had a very flattering T-shaped line. It was a two-tone dress, technically, the bottom lean sheath was black and hit her beneath the knee, and the top bodice / bosom area was a cream shade designed to match ones pearls. It was shirred, and then the cream straps were both a shirred halter strap and a shirred off the shoulder strap. It was simplicity. It was elegance.
The other dress was one Catherine had picked out earlier. It was a baby-doll above the knee flirty dress with spaghetti straps and a giant appliqué on the thigh made of rhinestones.
I titled this dress the Disco Ball dress. I did not approve.
To her credit, Catherine was torn between Catherine Goes to the Symphony and Disco Ball because the symphony was not the only place she might wear it. She might wear it to the Fox, a New Jerusalem where the walls are made of rhinestones. It might also go to a work party, or a party with her new boyfriend who is MY age.
We switched between the two for about ninety minutes. She pranced about in the Disco Ball dress, and showed off her fabulous legs, and she stood tall and elegant like a madrigal singer in the Catherine Goes to the Symphony dress.
So, in case you go to the symphony in the next few days and see someone in a black dress with a rhinestone appliqué, check out her legs. They were the tie-breaker.
By the time Disco Ball won, it was at least eight-thirty and we were hungry. Too hungry to wait in line at the restaurant. Still, Catherine walked past the line that extended out into the mall, up to the hostess, and asked:
"Is Kevin working tonight? He's my trainer."
"Yes he is working here tonight," the hostess said.
"Hmm. How long would the wait be to get a seat in his station?"
"Stand right over there. There's a seat opening up right now."
So, screw my lifelong dream of bribing my way into a crowded restaurant. I have been totally outclassed by someone who wears rhinestones.
The legs always win out.
Posted by: judith | December 15, 2007 at 06:18 PM
Alright...so that's a pretty important reason I guess...but still! The next one won't be until February! I fully expect you to be there. :)
Posted by: Marriage-101 | December 16, 2007 at 11:55 AM
And she didn't buy both because....?
Posted by: Caroline | December 16, 2007 at 07:25 PM
Judith - Yep. If I had good legs they would win here.
Marriage 101 - February is Cool, as long as it isn't the day Kathy Griffin is at the Fox.
Caroline - Ummm...because they weren't buy one get one free.
Posted by: TheQueen | December 17, 2007 at 02:06 AM
Okay, you made me feel so self concious about my dress choice I acutally went back to the Dillards close to me to see if there was another dress I could choose from that was in the middle of the two. There wasn't, but I looked. And, now, tonight, I'm going to feel like a hooker-girl in my Disco Ball dress, not what I wanted. All I can hope now is that the dude likes it, as I've only got 1.5 hours before I have to meet him and there is No Time LEFT to find another dress!!
Posted by: Catherine the Red | December 17, 2007 at 03:55 PM
Catherine the Red - No, there are no dresses that compare to Catherine Goes to the Symphony. But, as Mom pointed out today, you wear your coat to the seat, take off your coat, put your coat on and leave. No one actually sees you standing up in your dress at the symphony. And, to be totally honest, I've seen people in jeans at the symphony - but they were in the nose bleed seats.
Posted by: TheQueen | December 18, 2007 at 12:37 AM
Queen,
I did not wear a coat as that would not have looked good with the dress. I did however, find a satin bolero jacket that worked just fine. And, the dude loved the dress. And, I got compliments from other people (total strangers...admiring the dress...At The Symphony!)...so, suckmahballs.
Posted by: Catherine the Red | December 18, 2007 at 01:53 PM
Catherine the Red - Okay, I am humbled, but just know if you had worn the OTHER dress total strangers would not have been so forward as to approach you because they would be convinced you were royalty.
Posted by: TheQueen | December 18, 2007 at 03:09 PM