Well, one of the in-laws has been caught in a compromising position. In the act. Explicitly, the act of having sex. Not to put too fine a point on it, but, naked.
I feel for the Horny Naked In-Law, because this individual is of the younger generation. I want to say, "We've all been there," while Gary hums "Sunrise, Sunset" in the background. I want to say, "Someday you'll laugh about this."
I know this is true, because like many I have been caught in the act. Well, sort of. It wasn't what it looked like. I swear.
Gary and I were dating, and were were several months into it at least. It was the summer I turned 21. We were in his apartment, making out, and we were at the point in the relationship that Gary had conquered the Northern Hemisphere. I believe I had helpfully removed my shirt and bra to help facilitate matters. God forbid his hands tried to sneak below the high waist of my Zena Jeans, though. But hey, upstairs the party was on.
So there we were, making out in his bed and we both heard a key turn in the front door lock.
"Hi, Gary," his sister Karen sang out.
Gary was fully clothed at the time anyway, so he vaulted out of bed and tossed the coverlet over me before he hit the ground. In one step he was out of the bedroom. So he wouldn't arouse suspicion, he casually pulled the bedroom door only partially shut.
"Hi, Karen! What brings you here?" he asked loudly.
She answered, "I was out walking the new puppy and I thought he looked thirsty. I remembered I had your key from when I played tennis on the courts here -- Coco! No! Bad puppy!"
Coco had burst through the bedroom door, followed soon after by Karen, and I might have escaped attention but the damn puppy went right under the bed. Suddenly I was busted. Karen reeled back at a 45 degree angle when she saw me sticking out from under the coverlet. If not for the industrial-strength stick up her ass, her spine would have snapped in half.
By the time I choked out "Hi, Karen," she had wrangled the puppy and was apologizing her way out of the apartment. I heard Gary say, "Bye..Karen?" but I didn't catch anything but the shock waves of horror she left behind.
Gary poked his head back in the bedroom just as I realized that the situation was even worse than I thought. I thought I was fully under the covers, but my bare shoulders and arms were exposed. The coverlet was over my breasts and my virtuous unzipped jeans, but my bare feet stuck out. So naked shoulders, naked feet, I'm looking pretty naked. I pulled the coverlet over my head.
Gary tried to soothe me with, "You know, someday, we'll look back on this and laugh. Except for Karen. She won't ever think this is funny."
Well, it took almost a quarter of a century but I can see the humor now. So, this will be my Christmas present to myself: I'll find Karen and see if she thinks it is funny yet.