I don't remember sitting down and deciding not to have kids. It's just that we never sat down and decided to have kids. (And, really, given what a responsibility it is, you mommies should have to fill out some paperwork answering at least that question: "Why did you decide to have kids?")
Now, if your question is, "Why didn't you follow the natural course of things and be filled with a desire to have kids like normal women?" I'd have to answer that I don't have the slightest idea. I don't remember ever wanting to have kids. I don't think Gary ever did, at least he claims not to.
Just as well, since I'd be a pretty bad parent. I just don't "get" kids.
Example A
I sat down next to Hot Mom one day at work. "What's that black and white photo?" I asked.
"Oh, that's my ultrasound."
"Is that a head?" I asked, thrilled not so much that a baby was on the way but that I had been able to decipher a baby ultrasound.
"Yep."
"Then whats that?" I asked, pointing to a similar white mass.
"That's a head," she stated matter-of-factly.
I looked at her in horror for a moment. She was pretty calm for a woman having a two-headed baby.
Exhibit B
I visited my friends Carol and Dave at their apartment about a month after they had their very colicky baby. Oh, my word. She screamed the way a human screams when it doesn't know you can hurt yourself screaming that way. Eventually she stopped screaming, and we had a nice afternoon. Carol suggested we go out for dinner. "Sure," I said.
Dave and Carol started packing up baby stuff.
"Oh," I asked politely, "The baby's coming too?"
Conclusion
Yeah. Babies. I don't get them. Do I have to?
I'm with you. They're sort of cute early on, but man, they are smelly and noisy. My boyfriend and I have taken to sitting in the smoking sections of restaurants, because there are never any kids. My ears can't take the shrill noises that the wee critters make. Ach!
Posted by: styro | November 09, 2007 at 05:02 PM
Yeah. Babies. I don't get them. Do I have to?
No you don't. I actually had someone tell me I was selfish for not having kids. (By the way, I have no husband, nor can I financially provide for these children I should be having, but I'm still selfish.)
Posted by: Kathy | November 09, 2007 at 05:15 PM
Yeah. Babies. I don't get them. Do I have to?
No you don't. I actually had someone tell me I was selfish for not having kids. (By the way, I have no husband, nor can I financially provide for these children I should be having, but I'm still selfish.)
Posted by: Kathy | November 09, 2007 at 05:15 PM
Ah... I think you've sparked a post. :)
Posted by: sue | November 09, 2007 at 05:48 PM
I pretty much don't like healthy active kids with a few exceptions. I did pediatric home care for a few years and really loved the kids I took care of. I suppose that I am sick and twisted for this. This is a problem because John loves kids, thinks they are amusing, wants them around and has a passel of grandkids. I only do okay with kids who are healthy if I am allowed to upend them if they clearly need it, thus I did fine with my nephew's younguns because each one understood that great-aunt Zayrina could and would upend them and turn them inside out if necessary.
I think I should get a prize for not reproducing.
Posted by: Zayrina | November 09, 2007 at 06:28 PM
I decided when I was 9 years old that I wasn't going to have kids. I knew given the examples I had for parenting that I wouldn't do much better myself.
I actively dislike any child until the age of, oh, 12, when they're interesting for about ten minutes and then don't become human again for another 20 years.
I know I spared one or two kids from a horrible childhood. I deserve a medal for not having kids.
Posted by: Becs | November 09, 2007 at 06:33 PM
I have two children and now an empty nest. Finally! While on the one hand they are the "things" I am most proud of and I love them dearly, on the other hand, they were (are) truly a "labor" of love. I'm glad I have them in my life but ask me if I'd do it all over again if I were 21 (like my daughter is now)and I'd have to say "Hmmm, I'm not so sure."
I'll never be one of those Moms who nags her children into parenthood. I'll make a good "Grandma" someday if and when, but it's not a requirement.
Posted by: Twofer | November 10, 2007 at 08:26 AM
Sign me up for the prize & medal party for not breeding! I want gifts!! baby-free uterus party 2007!
Posted by: styro | November 10, 2007 at 06:09 PM
styro - Yeah, and how do you tell if that's the shrill happy sound or the shrill "help!" sound?
Kathy - "I actually had someone tell me I was selfish for not having kids." - Hey - me too! My mother in law. Actually, it was more like "You can tell she's selfish because she doesn't have kids."
Kathy - Oh, AND there's "You are too selfish to have kids." Every time someone gives me a reason I don't have kids I just assume that's the reason she doesn't like being a mom.
sue - I'm with you! Access codes suck!
Zayrina - You know, kidless women make the best Aunts. You get a new car!
Becs - You get a new car!
Twofer - I think my mom's like that too, and my in-laws have gradually come to that conclusion. Thank heaven for both of them, and Im sure your kids are happy not to be nagged.
styro - You get a new car! Everybody! Everybody without kids gets a new car!
Posted by: TheQueen | November 11, 2007 at 12:06 AM
But, but, but... I need a new car! And really, my kid's daycare payment is why I can't get one. So I guess I see how that works.
Posted by: Caroline | November 11, 2007 at 12:21 AM
You don't have to get them at all, dear. Honestly, I don't get them either. Unfortunately, I didn't find that out untilthose two white blobs became two screaming children.
They're great now. They're not babies anymore.
Posted by: Hot Mom | November 11, 2007 at 08:33 AM
I have never regretted my child-free status. Never. I can't wait for the end of menopause so I don't even have to think about it anymore.
I don't hate children or anything. I also don't love them. I love cats. I love dogs. I take children one at a time.
Posted by: Sara | November 11, 2007 at 09:11 AM
Queen, you're right, I totally have a 2007 toyota parked out front. haha great call!
Posted by: styro | November 11, 2007 at 07:38 PM
Example A was my favorite! Two-headed baby. Ha!
I don't really do babies either. We talk about it, but it's going to be awhile me thinks.
Posted by: Marriage-101 | November 12, 2007 at 03:31 PM
Caroline - Well, I was just making idle promises, but now that you and styro mention it, yes, that must be how it works.
Hot Mom - Well, sure, but we can't judge all kids by their great example.
Sara - I think I'm getting myself snipped up. I just made the first appointment today.
styro - Yep. Of course, kids don't break down eventually.
Marriage-101 - Well, as I understand it it can be quite rewarding.
Posted by: TheQueen | November 12, 2007 at 05:08 PM
My mother used to tell me, "You either have money or you have kids", along with lots of other anecdotal stuff. Then when I got to be 30 or so and still no kids, she said,"Well, I hope it wasn't anything I said!" I never wanted one but I went through the "Biological Clock" years like a woman possessed! Babies, give me babies! Please, you know I want one! Just as well, it makes me tired to think of them!
Posted by: judith | November 12, 2007 at 10:43 PM
Judith - Thankfully, I've been through the clock years unscathed. Just go to Target on Saturday morning, that'll stop that clock.
Posted by: TheQueen | November 13, 2007 at 11:26 PM
Oh, my clock stopped long ago, just before the hot flashes started! I just think that "biological clock" thing is so amazing. Nature at work. My nephews and nieces rock, and it's a good thing!
Posted by: judith | November 14, 2007 at 06:52 AM
Judith - yep, I like the aunt role best.
Posted by: TheQueen | November 14, 2007 at 10:17 PM