Here's another myth. It is so satisfying to set the record straight. Again, I start with the facts, then tell you what the facts have twisted into after decades of re-tellings.
The Factual Basis for the Myth:
The first summer we were married, I made a menu or Gary's favorite foods. He always gets both turkey legs at his parent's Thanksgiving. Therefore, I cooked Gary a turkey leg. I cooked it a good three hours.
The Myth As Gary Tells It:
"Oh my God, when we were first married? Ellen served me a raw turkey leg! Raw! Blood was dripping out of it! Blood everywhere! Blood all over the walls! I tried to eat it, but I just couldn't. I stuck it in the microwave for ten minutes and it still wasn't done! Blood was dripping down my chin! I COULD HAVE DIED!"
More Factual Basis:
Okay, anyone who has roasted a fowl knows that sometimes the meat by the bone can be fully cooked yet retain a little pinkness. Plus, and this was the real issue, he encountered a vein. I have no proof, but I'm pretty sure Wilma goes through her turkeys and de-veins them. That way her delicate children can't tell they are eating an animal.
What the Future Holds:
I am sure in a few decades I will have pinned Gary to the ground and forced a live turkey's leg down his throat. Because I love.
Moral: Overcook everything the first few years of marriage. Or, be a vegetarian. Or, tie up your spouse and make him drink turkey blood so he can identify it.