This, from our bedroom, as we cuddled and made small talk:
Gary: "So I saw this thing on HBO or something, when this guy said he 'did the alphabet' during cunnilingus."
Me: "Yeah. I've heard about that too. I wonder what would it feel like to be cunnilingled that way. Give me your elbow."
(I mouth the alphabet on Gary's elbow until I get bored and give it a big cow lick.)
Gary: "And that's the other thing, does anyone ever make it through all 28 letters of the alphabet?"
My internal monologue: Did he just say 28? Are you kidding me? 28? Rip on him for saying there are 28 letters of the alphabet! No! Wait! Give him a chance. See if he says '32' next time.
Ellen: (flatly) "Yeah. 28 letters. That's a lot of letters."
Internal monologue: Wait for it...wait for it...No! Move on! Keep talking about sex! You're losing him!
Gary: "Wait - how many letters are in the alphabet? Did I say 28? I meant 24."
So. No sex for me.
Historians will likely point to this blog as the origination of the verb "cunnilingled."
Posted by: david Brown | September 03, 2007 at 06:28 PM
Not sure I could have stopped giggling long enough to actually have sex anyway.
I checked with my Husband on this subject.
Me: "Honey, random quiz question -- how many letters in the alphabet?"
Him: "Uh...26?"
Me: "Right! You get to have to sex tonight, if you want to."
Him: (pause) "Really?"
Posted by: Sherri | September 03, 2007 at 07:06 PM
Well, you did marry him for his brains. ;-)
You realize your site will yield search engine results for more than just "toe porn" and "iron lung bondage" now?
Posted by: Friend #3 | September 03, 2007 at 08:29 PM
That Gary is a keeper!
Posted by: sue | September 04, 2007 at 10:36 AM
I've done the alphabet thing before, but I usually forget where I'm at. :)
Posted by: ajooja | September 04, 2007 at 10:59 AM
Perhaps he was referring to the Greek Alphabet?(24 letters). =)
Posted by: snowy | September 04, 2007 at 03:20 PM
Imagine if Gary tried the Cyrillic alphabet. I'm just sayin'.
Posted by: Catherine | September 04, 2007 at 03:53 PM
David Brown - and it rhymes with tingled! And commingled.
Sherri - Ha! My work here is done. Bringing people together.
Friend #3 - Well, it's been a day and no searches yet.
sue - Yes. Plus, I have to keep him, because he can't survive on his own without knowing the alphabet.
ajooja - Can she tell if you miss a letter?
snowy - He did eat a lot of Greek desserts recently...
Catherine - Or, hieroglyphics! "Bird, bird, eye, bird, sun." Ooo baby.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 04, 2007 at 10:23 PM
I know - how about binary code?! Dot dot, line line line, dot dot. Or something. Rowr.
Posted by: Catherine | September 05, 2007 at 01:50 AM
Catherine - I just spent a moment really visualizing that. The dots are cracking me up.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 05, 2007 at 09:53 PM
What about Morse Code? Dash dash dot, dot dash dot, you get what I mean.
I've been thinking about this too much.
Posted by: Catherine | September 05, 2007 at 11:19 PM
Catherine - yes. We have been thinking about this too much. Besides, I don't know the names of those African languages with all the clicking and clucking.
Posted by: TheQueen | September 06, 2007 at 10:39 PM