Confessional

By all social standards, I have committed the unforgivable sin at work tonight.

I worked late, got hungry, and ate other people's food. From off their desks. Well, off one desk, and also from their file drawers.

I could have stopped working, but I was crazed all day. The kind of crazed we programmers get into when IT WORKED FRIDAY DAMNIT WHY DOESN'T IT WORK ANYMORE?

I snapped at my boss. I snapped at ManBitch (and tomorrow's his last day - snif). ManBitch told Caroline not to talk to me and she backed away slowly. And then everyone left and I ate their food. I am a bad, bad coworker.

I hope if I replace their ALMOST EMPTY boxes of Triscuits and Wheat Thins with full ones that they will overlook this violation. I, personally, would kill anyone who ate my food without asking.

Comments

[ajooja]

One of my co-workers keeps all kinds of snacks in a drawer. When I'm on deadline for a project, I've been known to open that drawer and see if anything defies gravity and ends up in my hand. ;)

[Zayrina]

More proof that you are vulgar.

Thought I would save troll a few key stokes.

Seriously though, as long as you replace the food with something of equal or superior value you might not get drawn and quartered.

[~~Silk]

I love how well you captured that craze. Know it well. Unfortunately, in my building, all offices and desks were locked. I chewed the paint off the walls.

[snowy]

the fridge in the break room is my preferred spot to raid for freebie foods.

[pageycooks]

I just want to know how the thinnest people in the office can eat all the junk food they keep in their desks without gaining a pound. If I did that, the gained pounds would befriend me for weeks!
(There are two left-over lemon, poppy seed muffins in the office kitchen right now... I...must....resist!)

[Caroline]

I'm trying to remember what's in my desk. Right now I think it's a nearly empty jar of peanut butter that wouldn't even merit replacement.

I've raided Hot Mom's drawer a few times. The key is to replace. Cheez Its are a good replacement right now. After all, it's orange week.

[Friend #3]

Ah-ah, don't forget the heavy sighs and withering glances.

[Autumn]

The only time I get irritated is when people take my cheese out of the fridge and don't replace. I love those snack cheeses! Anyway, replacement is key...a few weeks ago the girl in the office next to ours cleaned out the fridge and threw away my beloved cheeses! HAG!!!

[sue]

I'm still thinking about the whole... "it worked Friday, why won't it work now"... 'cause you know, that ALWAYS happens to me. Frustrating as hell. I say, if they leave it out in plain site, it is fair game. Go for it! Just don't open my desk to get at it.

[KC]

I used to have a co-worker who stole people's sodas from the fridge. She was despised for it by everyone here. We retaliated by making fun of her clothing choices. All the time. She dressed like a damn Barbie Doll. She deserved it. She never replaced our sodas. Growl, snarl, spit.

[TasterSpoon]

Man, I remember this woman at a place I used to work - she "stole" somebody's Lean Cuisine and wouldn't admit it. Somebody had seen her eating it (?) and challenged her (!) but she insisted it was hers.

It never really blew over. I can't even remember her name, just that she was The Woman Who Stole the Lean Cuisine.

She quit a few months later. I don't think the 230 calories or whatever you get from a Lean Cuisine were worth the grief she got.

I'd be stoked if somebody replaced the crappy food in my snack drawer with some decent Xtra-Cheese Goldfish (on sale at Target right now).

I think key also is to leave *something*, not take every last bite. It sucks when you're thinking about that biscotti all day long and open the drawer and it's not there. Particularly true of chocolate items, and I can see how colas would fall in that category, too.

[Becs]

When I moved into Unnamed Co., I brought a stash of snackies with me and loudly pointed out the location to all and said, "Help yourselves." Because there is nothing worse than being stuck in an office with nothing to eat.

[TheQueen]

Ajooja – During the last Super-Secret-Project Deadline, I ate more food in one sitting than I’d had all that week. Food is a handy stress-reliever because you can eat and program at the same time. Today, for example, I had a little BBQ relaxant and I felt much calmer after that.
Zayrina – I can only judge people by my own standards, and I would spit on someone who ate my food. If you aren’t married to me, and you sit on my bed or eat my food, it maddens me.
~~Silk – In was crazed half the day, then told Hot Mom I was too stupid to work on it any more. Now Ed is crazed.
snowy – The fridge is tricky, because I don’t know what belongs to who. Plus, our HR director is in charge of the fridge. Right now, I swear to you, it is stocked with three beers. No one is touching them because we know they are fitted with a tracing device.
pageycooks – in my office, they smoke. That’s how. Poppy seed muffins contain no carcinogens.
Caroline – I got her Cheddar Triscuits, because I knew it was orange week. Hey Internet, Hot Mom is menstruating this week! I’ll tell her you all said hi.
Friend #3 – Who, me? What about the pounding on the desk screaming profanities?
Autumn – What kind of animal would take cheese? Or throw it away? What kind of sick hags do you work with?
sue – Yup, I opened Hot Mom’s desk to get her Triscuits. SHE CLAIMS it was okay.
KC – I think at my company we would paint “Thief” on the bottom of each can with nail polish. Then, on a certain day, everyone but Barbie would know not to drink soda. I say this, though I was just recently tweaked for bogarting the coffee creamer.
TasterSpoon – Once at work someone ate exactly one bite of my bosses sandwich, wrapped it back up, and put it back in the fridge. We never found the culprit. But, they left some.
Becs - I think if the snacks were at my desk I’d eat them all day. At least I burn off a few calories hiking the twenty feet to Starbucks.

[Hot Mom]

A) I personally make no secret that I have a file drawer full of junk food at my desk. Eat away. Don't feel any need to ask (unless I'm sitting there) or replace.

B) I was the one pounding on the desk screaming profanities. Mainly because the issue that had "several" questions with wrong answers marked as right turned out to be ONE question with one wrong answer marked as right. It was the last of 24 questions.

You keep ascribing my funny/embarassing/etc. stuff to others. Please stop.

C) In my experience, that which works Friday invariably NEVER works on Monday, especially when the deadline is 2 weeks away.

[Friend #3]

And the clients rather enjoy the warmth and solitude found only when their heads are firmly planted inside their own rectums.