A few mornings past I woke up and Gary glared at me.
"Wha?" I drooled. "Whazit? WHA?"
"You can't do that again."
"I didn't get any sleep last night! I need sleep!"
"How is that my fault?"
"You snore!"('You're a towel!') "And you say I always snore."
"Yes, but this wasn't the cute relaxing snore. This was some intermittent thing. I'd start to fall asleep and all of a sudden you'd make this huge GRONNNK and wake me up." He glared at me sternly. It was a hard look. It was a long, hard, penetrating look. Usually those looks excite me, but this one just pissed me off.
I snipped, "Explain to me precisely how I could satisfy you, then. Evidently it bothers you when I lie awake at night and stare at the ceiling, and now, evidently, my sleeping displeases you."
"Well, that's it. You just can't sleep in here anymore."
So I've been tossed out of the marriage bed. This is fine with me, because a) the guest bed is far more comfy and, b) all I have to do is hint to my mother-in-law that we have separate beds now and she'll read him the riot act. She has strong feelings on spending every night together, and she's been married fifty-some years.
I see this lasting about a week. Until then, I'll get some good sleep without his blackberry waking me up.