Thank you to all the neighbors in my community and all the communities along the horizon for the amazing pyrotechnical displays this evening.
Thank you for purchasing said fireworks at the entirely legal fireworks stands in our county OUTSIDE of Saint Louis.
Thanks to all of you for acquiring your pyrotechnical licenses this year, because while it is legal to buy fireworks here it is not legal to set them off unless you have a license. I'm sure you know that.
Thanks for waking me out of a deep sleep and then for ignoring the fact that I walked around for 90 minutes in my pajamas. Really, I told Gary I'd have to change, and he said:
"No, why would you want to change?"
And I answered, "Well, when I get nervous or shy, my voice gets really high." No, I didn't say that. What I said was:
"Uh, because I'm naked except for a Ships-n-Dip cruise t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants with holes in the butt cheeks."
"Don't worry about it," he said.
"Really? You don't think it's indelicate and unladylike?"
"Just don't make the rock horns with the tongue."