Our Question Today: How Accurate is the Catholic Marriage Discussion Guide at predicting marital discord 22 years later?
If you married a Catholic, you may have been administered this test by the Church. You were asked a series of questions. Then your answers were evaluated to see if you agreed with each other, and more importantly if you agreed with the Church. If the two of you matched, but disagreed with the Church, you got a 66% or an F. The test was graded by category, and a failing score meant you needed to have a sit-down with the priest and be re-educated.
We flunked with a 67% overall. Here are our scores and a few sample questions from each category.
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We tanked on Religion and Philosophy: 43 %
Q. I worry that my relationship with God and my Church is not all it should be.
A. Gary=Agree / Me=Agree / God=Disagree
Are we supposed to be complacent? This was a trick question!
Q. We agree on the church whose teachings and moral values will guide us in raising our children.
A. Gary=Agree / Me=Undecided / God=Agree
Gary asked later, "Ellen, don't you know enough to lie on that question?"
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Well, that question tripped me up, but not as much as the section on Children: 53%
I was able to lie for about six questions. Then Satan failed me and every answer was "Unsure."
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We gained back some points with Personal Adjustment: 79%
Q. My future husband/wife has certain mannerisms which annoy me.
A. Gary=Disagree / Me=Agree / God=Disagree
Seriously, the Church expects me not to be annoyed by the way he chews six sticks of gum at a time and sounds like a cow? Really? It's so gross, God.
Q. My future husband/wife frequently seems to be depressed.
A. Gary=Disagree / Me=Disagree / God=Disagree
HaHAHAHAhhahaha! Just wait a few years, people.
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Clearly the test failed us in not warning us about In-Laws: 71%
Q: There is no interference from family members about our choice of housing and/or furnishings.
A: Gary=Agree / Me=Agree / God=Agree
Oh, we are all so happy in our agreement. This is before the de riguer blue goose in the kitchen and the Mary Englebreit switchplates and the immortal unbreakable cement fire hydrant that is still out in our backyard.
Q: I am uncomfortable when I am around some of my future in-laws.
A: Gary=Disagree / Me=Agree / God=Disagree
Well, I can lie about children, but I don't think God would have let me leave the room alive if I'd said "Disagree."
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Sexuality: 82% - yeah, baby. Our best score. We only got one wrong:
Q: For me sex and love are definitely separate things.
A: Gary=Agree / Me=Disagree / God=Disagree
I think Gary's response in the discussion with the priest that ensued was "Uh...love is a feeling, and sex is an act..you do ... to show that feeling? Is that right?"
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At no point in the process did they ask questions like:
Q: I will be okay if my future husband/wife decides to work 18 hour days.
Q: We have agreed how to budget our time.
Q: We think dogs are just like people, really, and if they poop a baby wipe should be applied to their bottoms.
I remember that test all too well. We had a pretty good idea what to expect going into it and agreed to always pick what we thought would be the church's preferred answer. I was damn near perfect with my selections. My husband, not so much. As we "discussed our disagreements", our very cool priest just laughed as my husband said, "Oh, is that what that question meant? Well then of course my answer is ____. It's been 8 years, so I guess it worked out okay.
Posted by: Caroline | June 15, 2007 at 11:35 AM
Woman! You know how competitive I am. What was your score?
Posted by: TheQueen | June 15, 2007 at 11:03 PM