At O'Hare last night, I was waiting for Gary outside the men's room. Am airline attendant wheeled up two Swedish people and let the man get up to go to the bathroom. I am assuming they were Swedish, the conversation between the two of them sounded vaguely Swedish.
"I go too," said the woman to the attendant, got out, and headed directly for the men's room where her husband had just gone.
"NO! NO no!" the attendant cried as he tried to reroute her. She was standing next to me at that point, so I explained, "It's the men's room."
She looked at me blankly. Then she inched toward the men's room again.
I continued, "You are a woman." She looked confused. So I clarified woman. "You are a woman," I explained as I cupped my breast.
"Huh?" she said.
"This is the men's room," I continued, making the International Hand Gesture for Man, which Gary explained later is actually the International Hand Gesture for Masturbation.
"Is this line?" she asked, which in retrospect might have been a pretty funny joke. Perhaps they have Hand Job stations in Swedish airports.
"No, my husband is in there. Here's your room," I said, leading her to the women's room.
Before the slipped into the room, she said, "I am so sorry. I was under the misconception you were in line to use the ladies washroom. I do apologize." Well, no, that's an exaggeration, but she did convey that idea with clear enough English that she certainly understood "man" and "woman" without the explanatory hand gestures.
Perhaps now she thinks it is appropriate to grab one's breast in Chicago every time one says "Woman." That would be nice.
Well, as long as you are grabbing your own breast and not someone elses, it probably is okay... ;)
Posted by: sue | June 20, 2007 at 10:03 AM
Swedes! Mastubatory sign language! You are truly an ambassador to the world.
Posted by: Caroline | June 20, 2007 at 10:17 AM
Am reminded of the story (probably an urban legend, closely related to the Lionel-Richie-in-Atlantic-City legend) of a friend who was traveling in Paris. She and her friend were Danish and conversing in their mother tongue. They were in the elevator going to the top of the Eiffel Tower and were discussing the handsome man in front of him.
Chick #1: God, he's good looking.
Chick #2: I wonder how long Mr. Happy is?
Chick #1: Long, I bet. And thick.
Chick #2: Those shoulders - can you imagine having those to hang onto at a crucial moment?
Chick #1: Girlfriend, I am, like, so there.
At the top of the tower, just as they were leaving, the guy turned around and said, "Thank you."
Posted by: Becs | June 20, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Sue - Ha! Good point. That made me laugh.
Caroline - I try, even though sometimes I confuse the International Sign for Masturbation with the International Sign for Oral Sex.
Becs - Ha - I've never heard that, so perhaps it isnt a legend. However, I have heard the Lionel Ritchie story in Atlantic City story, except it was Eddie Murphy in Las Vegas.
Posted by: TheQueen | June 20, 2007 at 12:47 PM