Last night as I was trying to sleep Gary grimly announced from the bathroom, "Ellen. Come into the bathroom. Now."
I came in, ready to take my tongue lashing about how I put the toilet paper on the roll backwards. Instead, I was a silent audience to this:
"Look! It's a bug. Look at it. Look at it! Its a silverfish. Don't you think its a silverfish? It's big for a silverfish. Silverfish are very, very fast." Gary grabbed a wad of toilet paper and protectively held me back from the path of the bug. "Stand back! Stand back! I need to be very fast. I don't want him to see me coming." (Loudly) "Don't make any noise." (Lunges.) "Aaaack! Is it dead? Is it dead? Yes! See! First try!" He began to flush the alleged silverfish when: "Ack! Ackk! There's another one! This one's a spider! Oh, he's a fat one." (Lunges) "Die Die! It's dead - aaaacCCCKKKKK No it isn't! Drown it! Drown it! Drown already! It's just skating around on top of the water! Acck!" Gary flushed the toilet, with a few extra flushes to be sure. "Wow! How about that! I killed two bugs."
I just went back to bed at that point. All I can guess is that he's watched all those action movies when the hero has to talk at length to the villain before he kills him. When I kill bugs, it's more like this:
Just a difference in style. Having cats means we rarely have to kill bugs (but we often have to clean up parts). However, my husband does not usually call me to witness to removal of hairballs.
If *I* have to kill a bug, I don't WANT any witnesses, because I am an absolute idiot and will most likely do some highly embarrassing high pitched squealing while I work up my nerve. I would prefer no one else saw that.
Posted by: Sherri | June 16, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Yeah, I usually just go get a cat and plunk it down in front of the bug. You've got dogs; put them to work!!
Posted by: Melissa | June 16, 2007 at 02:10 PM
Sherri, Melissa - Dogs are not killers. Dogs are barkers. We would have a dog barking "My god! There's a bug here! Get in here and kill this bug!"
Sad, but true.
Posted by: TheQueen | June 16, 2007 at 11:50 PM
I cannot kill a bug with tissue in my hand, because - WHAT IF I MISS AND IT RUNS UP MY ARM!
It must be stepped on with a foot, even if it's 4 feet up the wall. Any higher, and I call for reinforcements.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | June 18, 2007 at 01:09 PM
Taster - Oh, well, I just put my entire body weight behind crushing it, then I flatten my palm and grind the bug into the wall. Then I quickly check to be sure it's dead. Bugs rarely survive 200 pounds of pressure focused on their exoskeletons.
Posted by: TheQueen | June 20, 2007 at 12:41 PM