In college, a visiting professor taught one of my English courses. His name was Angus Wilson. He is Sir Angus Wilson to those of you who are under the oppression of the British throne. (Hah! I missed my chance to meet your queen, but if I'd seen her I would not have curtsied like a subject. I'd have looked her right in the eye and smartly declared, "American knees don't bend to foreign sovereigns, Your Majesty." (In later conversation I would have simply called her Ma'am as Miss Manners instructs.))
What I recall about Professor (Sir) Wilson's class was his remarkable taste in ties, and the fact that every time a plane interrupted his lecture he bemoaned the powers that built a university right next to an airport. Interestingly, his ties were mentioned in the Wikipedia article about him. (Also mentioned was his inclusion in Bletchley Park, which just makes me dizzy with awe. Yet, it isn't even mentioned in the Author's notes in my autographed copy of The Middle Age of Mrs. Eliot.)
So, one day I had to deliver a speech in Sir Angus' class, and my car broke down seven miles from UMSL. I had no other option but walk, and surprisingly I had enough time to get there if I skipped my morning class.
I arrived all sweaty. Sir Angus (yeah, I don't have to use the "Sir" but I will, because of Bletchley Park) introduced me and I addressed the class.
"My car broke down and I just walked two hours to get here, so you'd better listen."
I was surprised by a belly laugh from the class (it must have been the first time anyone found my pain funny). Sir Angus stopped laughing and said, "Well, if I could give out grades for spunk, I would give you an A plus." He did give me an A plus on a paper later, and an A in class. He presented me my grade over some lovely tea and cookies. He was very attentive. Since Wikipedia didn't exist I had no idea he was "a famous homosexual," and I probably thought he was hitting on me.
Some days when I am not feeling spunky, I draw on my inner spunkiness, secure that an English Knight deemed me spunky.
That's why I was so delighted that someone got to my site by Googling "spunky labia." I thought, "That is so perfect. What a great porn star name! Starring ... Spunky Labia! And introducing ... Spunky Labia!" Of course, I would have to give up my classic first-pet/first-street porn star name: Pansy Hillcroft. I've always felt like a Pansy Hillcroft, especially if you pronounce it like Joan Greenwood would, chewing the consonants and swallowing the vowels with what I think they call a "plummy" accent. "Huhlllo, Ah em Penseh Hillcroff."
But, still, Spunky Labia! Is that me or what!
I clicked the link (the google.uk link, mind you, where they know spunk) and found that I am not on the first page of hits for Spunky Labia. I thought this was strange. It did make me think there might not currently be a porn star named Spunky Labia, and to confirm it a google image search of "Spunky Labia" didn't match any documents. So that's cool. I think I'll make Spunky Labia my porn star name, but use Pansy Hillcroft as my nom de porn when I do my toe spreads.
Well, if you didn't have top Google ranking for "spunky labia" before, you certainly will after this post. Not to mention "Pansy Hillcroft". Outstanding porn name.
Posted by: sgazzetti | May 18, 2007 at 03:06 AM
Does anyone even use the word "spunky" anymore...?
Posted by: sue | May 18, 2007 at 08:47 AM
This is to be one of your best posts Miss Spunky Labia.
Semi-related: last night I saw "Knocked Up." They show 3 shots of the baby crowning. That's what I said. 3.Shots.Of.The.Baby.Crowning. Talk about your spunky labias.
Posted by: Autumn | May 18, 2007 at 09:35 AM
Those English professors are always funky. I had one who told us he gave points for Chutzpah in some answers, so once, for a particularly annoying essay question, I simply wrote, "Neil, please put the crackpipe down."
He gave me 3/5 pts.
Posted by: Jenny | May 18, 2007 at 11:34 AM
Also? I'm Overbrook Sunshine, thank you very much.
Posted by: Jenny | May 18, 2007 at 11:36 AM
Using your rules of porn name creation, I would be Trouble East-Warren. Trouble is a bit spunky and dare I say it, racey. But East-Warren sounds a bit posh. It doesn't roll trippingly off the tongue. I like your name better.
Posted by: KC | May 18, 2007 at 01:25 PM
I am in such a serious state of jealous over this professor. Also, being called Spunky. :)
Posted by: Angie | May 18, 2007 at 02:20 PM
I am in such a serious state of jealous over this professor. Also, being called Spunky. :)
Posted by: Angie | May 18, 2007 at 02:20 PM
Pepper Sharon here, which sounds like someone trying to be cool by reversing her names, but actually is my first pet/first street combo.
And I too had an eccentric British professor of English Lit. Great guy, even when he was sober.
Posted by: Jammies | May 18, 2007 at 03:30 PM
I can't (thankfully) comment on your labia, but I can vouch for your spunk.
Posted by: Caroline | May 18, 2007 at 05:21 PM
I hope you know what 'spunk' means in porn terminology.
Posted by: Friend #3 | May 18, 2007 at 05:41 PM
I did my junior year in England. Where I lived was about a two mile walk from class, across "the Downs," a big, grassy, often foggy field.
I woke up late, BOOKED it across that field and plopped into my chair, bathed in sweat, embarrassed of my stink.
"Oh, look at you," said the young lad sitting across from me, dreamily. "You're all dewy! You must have slept out last night!"
I've liked those people ever since.
Ever,
Ginger Wildwood
Posted by: TasterSpoon | May 18, 2007 at 08:03 PM
Sgazzetti - Whoo! Whooooo! I'm the Top Spunky!
sue - you bet, Brenda (aka Surprising Woman does) "Ginger Rogers: cute, spunky and a great dancer."
Autumn - Gahhhh!
Jenny - Overbrook? You had a pet named Overbrook and lived on a street named sunshine? But think - Sunshine Overbrook! That paints a picture! Your middle name could be Bubbling.
KC - Starring in "They Call Me Trouble..."
Angie - yeah, but my college was nothing to be jealous of. Don't know what Angus was doing at UMSL, which is a commuter college even though it's a state university.
Jammies - Angus may have been drunk the whole time. We couldn't tell if he slurred his speech because it took so much effort to understand him. You know how it takes a while to get into the accents on BBC? That took up the first half hour of every class.
Caroline - oh, they are spunky, I tell you.
Friend #3 - Gasp! NO! I am SHOCKED! And Ginger Rogers was spunky?
Taster - I'd rather be dewey than spunky. Especially now, after what Friend #3 said.
Posted by: TheQueen | May 18, 2007 at 10:30 PM
Perhaps she earned the description 'Spunky' because Fred Astaire did a little more than dance with her. (Pardon my French.)
Posted by: Friend #3 | May 19, 2007 at 12:06 AM
hey I'm jonisjackingoff & you should follow me on twitter.
Posted by: jonisjackingoff | January 15, 2010 at 02:52 PM
3 - Man, I never replied to that? It's been hanging out there since '07
Jon(isjackingOff) - I thought about it Jon, and on checking your twitter feed, I don't think Spunky is your type of girl. She does not wear underwear. I don't think you would meet each other's needs.
Posted by: TheQueen | January 16, 2010 at 11:37 PM
That's cool, I'd lick her pussy directly!
Posted by: jonisjackingoff | January 18, 2010 at 11:52 AM
Jon(isjackingOff) - Spunky doesn't go that far. She only goes as far as the toes.
Posted by: TheQueen | January 18, 2010 at 05:36 PM