In college, a visiting professor taught one of my English courses. His name was Angus Wilson. He is Sir Angus Wilson to those of you who are under the oppression of the British throne. (Hah! I missed my chance to meet your queen, but if I'd seen her I would not have curtsied like a subject. I'd have looked her right in the eye and smartly declared, "American knees don't bend to foreign sovereigns, Your Majesty." (In later conversation I would have simply called her Ma'am as Miss Manners instructs.))
What I recall about Professor (Sir) Wilson's class was his remarkable taste in ties, and the fact that every time a plane interrupted his lecture he bemoaned the powers that built a university right next to an airport. Interestingly, his ties were mentioned in the Wikipedia article about him. (Also mentioned was his inclusion in Bletchley Park, which just makes me dizzy with awe. Yet, it isn't even mentioned in the Author's notes in my autographed copy of The Middle Age of Mrs. Eliot.)
So, one day I had to deliver a speech in Sir Angus' class, and my car broke down seven miles from UMSL. I had no other option but walk, and surprisingly I had enough time to get there if I skipped my morning class.
I arrived all sweaty. Sir Angus (yeah, I don't have to use the "Sir" but I will, because of Bletchley Park) introduced me and I addressed the class.
"My car broke down and I just walked two hours to get here, so you'd better listen."
I was surprised by a belly laugh from the class (it must have been the first time anyone found my pain funny). Sir Angus stopped laughing and said, "Well, if I could give out grades for spunk, I would give you an A plus." He did give me an A plus on a paper later, and an A in class. He presented me my grade over some lovely tea and cookies. He was very attentive. Since Wikipedia didn't exist I had no idea he was "a famous homosexual," and I probably thought he was hitting on me.
Some days when I am not feeling spunky, I draw on my inner spunkiness, secure that an English Knight deemed me spunky.
That's why I was so delighted that someone got to my site by Googling "spunky labia." I thought, "That is so perfect. What a great porn star name! Starring ... Spunky Labia! And introducing ... Spunky Labia!" Of course, I would have to give up my classic first-pet/first-street porn star name: Pansy Hillcroft. I've always felt like a Pansy Hillcroft, especially if you pronounce it like Joan Greenwood would, chewing the consonants and swallowing the vowels with what I think they call a "plummy" accent. "Huhlllo, Ah em Penseh Hillcroff."
But, still, Spunky Labia! Is that me or what!
I clicked the link (the google.uk link, mind you, where they know spunk) and found that I am not on the first page of hits for Spunky Labia. I thought this was strange. It did make me think there might not currently be a porn star named Spunky Labia, and to confirm it a google image search of "Spunky Labia" didn't match any documents. So that's cool. I think I'll make Spunky Labia my porn star name, but use Pansy Hillcroft as my nom de porn when I do my toe spreads.