First, if you don't want to catch up with my in-laws, go read something funny at Jesus Christ's Cool Blog! Oh, Sherri, thank you. This is funny. This is as funny as Don Novello/Father Guido Sarducci/Lazlo Toth (American). In fact, it kind of sounds like him. It's so good I'm saving it for a treat.
On the darker side of religion, my in-laws are using their mighty mighty powers of exaggeration to make a happy occasion into something painful and unpleasant.
Let's play a game. Use your imagination. Take this scenario, and then see how you can twist the facts.
Arhan-fay is the son of Gary's Muslim sister Sandy and her admittedly mail-order Pakistani husband. Ex-husband. And they got ten years out of it, longer than many marriages I know of. And marriage to Sandy might measured in dog years. She could pack seven year's worth of drama into one human year.
Arhan-fay is twenty-three, and has been dating ...ummm ... Aha-tay for six months. He's known her since childhood, since they went to the same Islamic school in KC. But, a month ago, they broke up. And there was great sadness. Arhan-fay was distraught.
But, lo! They are to be wed! Sandy is beside herself with delight and tells us that there are two weddings thrown in their culture, one thrown by the bride's family and one by the groom's family. I was not aware of this custom since obviously, the bride's family wasn't too happy about welcoming the freshly-postmarked groom at Sandy's wedding.
The wedding is next month.
These are the facts, or as close as you can get after passing them through the Gary filter. Believe me, he didn't come home and grunt, "Arhan-fay. Wedding. Next month."
Take just a moment to imagine what the S_____ family have decided is the background drama. Use your creativity. (Or, you could visit Jesus Christ's Cool Blog! Jesus is waiting. He's waiting today. Come with thy sins; at His feet lowly bow. Come, and no longer delay.)
The Same Story with Twisted S______ Embellishments
(Class, who went with sudden unexpected pregnancy? Ha! Wrong. Too humdrum and everyday for that family. Yawn. Same-old, same-old.)
Assorted S______s all talking loudly at the same time:
"After the breakup, Aha-tay's family decided she must be wed! And they arranged a marriage for her! And Arhan-fay was one of the selections! But there were three other boys in the running! But she picked him! Even though they were on the outs! It's craziness! Can you imagine!"
...Oh, and he doesn't have a job and he's too young and where would they live. You know, the same grief everybody gets when they decide to be happy in the face of the in-laws.
I know I should make some calls to the more rational twigs on the family tree (and a moody teenage girl is the source of reason, what does that say). But really, I am tired of assuring Gary that everything is okay after he's pumped up the drama.
Well, and after all the Estate drama actually turned out to be founded in reality, I'm a little gun-shy.