The Story of New Guy, Part the Third

(Previously on The Story of New Guy:
Hot Young Coworker: "Everybody! Quit staring at my freaking BBBOOOOOOOOOOBBBBS!"
New Guy stands about looking Reticent and Helpless.)

Day 6

On the first day of his second week, New Guy decides he'd better get going if he intends to get fired before his benefits kick in. Strangely, he spends a morning transferring his prescriptions to Saint Louis, as if he thinks he'll be keeping this job.

On this fine day, he had a number of inappropriate exchanges.

Exchange with Co-Worker My Age
He makes a weak and deeply awkward joke about Co-W.M.A's name, involving the word "Nipple.'" Her nickname is "Giggles." He says, "Why don't they call you Giggle Nipple?" Yes. It was that lame. Co-worker My Age gave him the ultimate snake eye, the python of all snake eyes. She visited the bosses office and related this exchange. The Middle-Management Boss Lady suggested she announce, "You have offended me" next time she is offended, because the Snake Eye cannot be quoted in a hearing.

Exchange With Hot Mom
It seems at the end of the previous Friday, New Guy had asked Hot Mom what route she takes to go home, and when she plans to leave. He doesn't live near her. After New Guy makes his Nipple quip to Co-W.M.A., Hot Mom pays an impromptu visit to the bosses office as well. Boss reinforces that "You have offended me" should be the word of the day.

Exchange with Hot Young Co-Worker
He IMs Hot Young Co-worker to tell her how nice her thighs are, and how tight her ass is. She IMs back: "Get to work." She doesn't visit the Boss, because she doesn't feel threatened. In fact, no one is threatened, just creeped out. We warned H.Y.C. that New Guy is causing a run on the bosses office, and that "You have offended me" is preferable to "Hey, everybody, check out what Professor Perv just said to me!" (Professor Perv nickname courtesy of Co-W.M.A.)

Exchange with Me

(this space intentionally left blank.)

He didn't say anything to me. I showed up at work late. I had planned to work from home but technology intervened. I would have bent the technology to my will but Co-Worker My Age sent me an IM saying: "Shower up, Musty." (When I got in I forced her to smell me.)

Then, because I am a follower, I paid an impromptu visit to the boss. I'd heard the Nipple story and decided Boss needs the dirt I have on New Guy's sexual-harassment history at his last job. I revealed to the Boss the whole story: a) I had been ogling Hot Young Co-worker at the meeting, b) she reacted, c) I apologized the Creepy New Guy, d) he confessed his sexual-harassment history.

Now, Boss is not above inappropriate humor. She has been known to join in with, and one-up on, the indelicate talk. Again, "You are making me uncomfortable." is her advice. I already know this advice has flaws. For example, I was twenty-something and a guy at work was actually making me uncomfortable. I said, "That type of talk bothers me." He replied, "So, does it bother you that my dick is hard right now?" And that's when Karl got the full force of my mighty silent treatment. I didn't go to HR - we didn't have an HR department, and, my children, it was before Anita Hill. Anita Hill, children, was ... oh, never mind. It was the Dark Ages.

Discussion Questions: Initially, everything New Guy has said has just been borderline creepy. For example, before I met him he sent an email asking if I was his mentor or maybe...his Taskmistress. I emailed back "I prefer Taskassistant" and let it go at that. But you can't go to the Boss with "He called me a Taskmistress!" (Actually, I just tromped in there because I'm a gossip.) You can go to the Boss with "He said I had a nice tight ass," but what if you prefer to deal with it on your own? What if you aren't really threatened, because like H.Y.C., you are a brass-balled half-man hermaphrodite? Should you alert the Boss to protect shyer, more delicate flowers?

Comments

[Angie]

Maybe try playing his game, and acting dumb when he makes icky comments? Like "Taskmistress? I'm not familiar with that term. Is that something they would say at your old job?" Kind of nudge him to make him realize he's being ookie.

[Co-W.M.A.]

a) I wonder if the fictitious "Giggles" call sign isn't worse than the actual perverted version of it.

b) The light-hearted admonition over IM to "Scrub up, Musty" was on Day 5.

c) The inappropriate "Nipple" comment and subsequent surreal and adolescent giggle from the 50-something dirty old man was on Day 6 while alone in the office with said dirty old man (DOM).

[Tracy27]

OK, so a lot of this stuff could (lamely, but could) be passed off as New Guy's awkward attempts to hang with the office banter... But the IM extolling the virtues of HYC's thighs and ass? That was 100% offsides. Even if she and the rest of you were finding him more pathetic than threatening, clearly everyone at this point agreed that New Guy was a major tool, so it's good you kept the boss updated. By end of day 6, I'd think it'd have been clear to Boss that she needed to counsel NG on cranking down the pervometer.

Can't wait to hear how this all plays out...

[Hot Mom]

I did go to the boss with his response to my email to the team about a DLL.

"Yes,
Task Mistress.
Copied the file.
Thank you, Task Mistress."

Not just creepy. Enough to ruin dominant-submissive sex for my husband for a long, long time.

[~~Silk]

"Should you alert the Boss to protect shyer, more delicate flowers?" Yes, because it's the shyer, more delicate flowers who will suffer in silence, wondering if it is somehow they who are doing something wrong or suggestive, to cause this unwanted attention.

(From a former shy, delicate flower.)

[TasterSpoon]

I'm a little surprised Boss is telling you guys effectively to deal with it yourselves. That's really not cool from a lawsuit perspective. Your Boss needs to be jumping all over this guy.

For the sake of the delicate flowers, get someone to restrain this jackass. As my Sex Harrassment trainer said, for every couple of delicate flowers who never say a peep, there's a passive aggressive flower who's keeping a detailed log book in her desk drawer, photocopies of which she is sending to her lawyer every week to document both the jackass and the company's inaction.

[melati]

I agree with TasterSpoon. Your boss should be begin documentation NOW. She's kind of opening up the potential of a lawsuit. If it gets back to HR that your boss was approached and she did nothing, flying shit will ensue.

[TheQueen]

Angie (hi Angie!) - That's a good idea, but my fear is that he would just become all gigly and excited by hearing me say "Taskmistress."
2) Co-W.M.A. - why thanks. Keep that documentation accurate.
3)Tracy27 - yeah! "Offsides." I like that term.
4) Hot Mom - oh, sure, you know you like it too.
5)~~Silk - should we talk to the delicate flowers about the topic first? Or should we go to HR. Would it upset a flower to be called into HR to verify the claim?
6) Hot Mom - I am sorry if #4 offended you.
7) TasterSpoon - Ooo! That never occurred to me. I felt like Bosses advice to deal with him one-on-one was a reasonable first step.
8) Melati - oh, you are such an executive now! See, the approach you and Taster recommend means that if you go to a Boss, that ensures you wont get a sounding board or advice, but the hammer will come down on the perv. Perhaps that's not what you want.

Sexual harassment! One of the trickier parts of sex.

[GG]

Wow! This is stirring up some shtuff.

The IM was clearly out of bounds. HYC dealt with it as she saw fit. Should we all live in an atmoshpere of CYA?

The Boss gave the appropriate first response.

I can almost bet you that Boss is keeping documentation of the visits.

But the impetus for acting on the issue must first come from those being impacted by this guy by making the declaration to him that "I am offended. Please do not continue this behavior."

Once that has been accomplished and Creep does it again you go back to Boss and Boss now has more ammunition on Bosses side to start the ball rolling against CNG.

At no time should anyone encourage or play into this guy's behavior.

And frankly were I ot Mom and the guy inquired about my leaving time and route home I'd a maced him. That line of questioning sets all the bells ringing that this guy is not good.