My dental appointment to get a temporary crown was today at seven AM. Ante Meridian! Sevvvvvvveeeeeeeeen! My plan was to be half asleep and snorting the nitrous. This required that I get up and out in a very short amount of time. As it happened, was there at 6:45, a quarter-hour even less ante the meridian than I expected, because I used my speed-dressing technique.
Night before: shower
Minute one: wash face, brush teeth.
Minute two: Brush again out of respect for the dentist.
Minute three: Wipe makeup on face, except for chin, because the dentist will just mess that up.
Minute four: comb hair. Dentist will destroy this too.
Minute five: Put on gel antiperspirant and (and this is the genius part) use the blow dryer to dry it.
Rest of day explain that you just came from the dentist and that is why you look like hell.
(And for those who say, why not just put on the antiperspirant first, there is no way it would dry in under five minutes.)