When I was Baptist, voluntarily trundling off to church several times a week, one of the church activities was a weekly Youth Bible Study.
(Don't be thrown by TTIH (That Tone I Have). I recommend church immersion for any young girl who is scrabbling to find some way she can control her life. It beats, oh, getting tattoos and shaving one's head BALD.)
At any rate, one day the Bible study featured a tape of some minister ranting about - and I may have this wrong - how the Illuminati have been plotting for ages, they became the FreeMasons and now the Masons, their mark is the pyramid on our dollar bill, and somehow they control Proctor and Gamble because the P&G logo looks like a satanic moon with 13 stars. (We Youth immediately put the tape on pause so we could scramble to find a tube of Crest. And it was trrruuuuueee.)
Most importantly, the tape claimed that Richard Nixon, a Mason, may have been the Antichrist because he sought to change dates and times with the institution of Daylight Saving Time. (I don't know what exactly what verse in Revelation pegs the Antichrist with seeking to change dates and times, and I can't find it anywhere. I have lost my mad concordance skillz.)
Even though I was attracted to the Weekly World News view of the End Times, the thesis of the tape seemed like a stretch for me. They were Illuminati. They read books. How bad could they be?
Well, in my attempt tonight to track down the DST/Revelation connection, I found the motherlode, the startling account of what the Illuminati have been up to for the last thirty years or so. Go. Enjoy. I'll just stay here.
One thing does kind of jump out at you. They planned to set the planet Jupiter on fire in 2000. I know! I was skeptical too. I don't know what they thought this would accomplish.
Freakin' Illuminati.
Oy vey... At what point to these people a) castrate themselves, b) self-flagellate, c) self-immolate, d) partake of the Kool-Aid or e) All of the Above?
Goyim...
Posted by: Friend #3 | February 20, 2007 at 07:05 PM
Dude. I hated being a Baptist. The "come to Jesus" moment at the end of the sermon used to make me cringe with embarrassment.
Posted by: Becs | February 20, 2007 at 07:46 PM