An Unretouched Photo

My hair this morning:

How many photos I had to take before I got one that was an acceptable level of hideousness: 12. This one actually makes me look good.

Look at the gravity-defying hair! It leads your eye toward the stencilling on the soffit. The sheet crease on my cheek vanished after a few minutes vertical.  Even after that, I still looked bad.

But I was strong! Because I had hope! Because I was going to the spa with the red-headed Catherine in the evening! And I had a variety of painful procedures scheduled. (And before you even ask: yes. Later.)

One of the non-invasive procedures was an eyelash perm and tint, because when one wakes up looking WORSE than the photo above would suggest, a girl needs her eyelashes to carry a lot of weight.

Its just what you'd think: your eyelashes are rolled, I swear, on little perm rods, and then tinted black.

And, in effect, you feel oh so pretty because you gave someone, ANYONE, ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY TO IMPROVE ANYTHING PLEASE GOD ANYTHING.

So, Gary gets to wake up tomorrow to this hawtness:

Comments

[Catherine (the redheaded one)]

Laughing so hard I'm choking!!!

[文风]

It is very intresting!!!!!!!!!
很有趣！！！！

[KC]

Great work with Photoshop! You are too funny!

[Carrie]

Thinking of having any sort of perming or dyeing solution so close to my eyes is giving me the heebie jeebies.

[melati]

I agree with Mandarin Character! Very interesting!!!

[Erin]

I'm laughing at everything single thing about this post.

Not least of all your soffit stenciling.

[Erin]

"EVERY"

Not "EVERYTHING".

(But your soffit is still off the flower chain.)

[TheQueen]

Red-headed Catherine - well, get ready for the next post.

文风 - 我是因此恭维您认为我能读任何东西除英语之外。非常谢谢! 经常请返回。

KC - Thanks, but it was MS Paint. My work in Photoshop is much better, because MS Paint relies so much on eye-hand coordination. Get it? MS Paint? HAHAHA. (A lot of work for an MS joke.)

Carrie - What got me was when the "esthetician" intoned, "Don't open your eyes under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES for the next ten minutes."

Melati - interesting - my guess is both you and 文风 have very thick black eyelashes. Am I right?

Erin - That soffit is staying stencilled Until. I. Die. it was such a hassle to do. Someday it will be back in style.

[melati]

My lashes are thin and repulsive and smell of shish kabob.

Just another thing I inherited from my Armenian roots along with the sloooow metabolism and the flabby arms and GIANT NOSE.

[melati]

Wait! I just thought of something!!!
Do your eyelashes now smell of perm solution?

That smell brings me back to 7th grade, man.

[TheQueen]

No smell, but I felt too foolish to ask if I should wait a day before I washed them.

[Caroline]

The Queen was so excited to show off her bed head pictures that she handed me her camera at work and told me to flip through it. I'm now contemplating a harassment complaint. (j/k) Seems I flipped in the wrong direction and found the full collection of photos she took of her pink and blue battery operated friends. By the time I got to the hair it was no longer shocking.

[robin]

You're STILL trying to get people to compliment you on your stenciling? I got your game, MM.

[Marcia]

Don't you think this called for Photoshop?

[Catherine]

You wrote this post, like, THREE days ago, and I'm STILL laughing at it. AHAHAHAHA.

[TasterSpoon]

I keep surfing back here for a laugh.

[Brenda]

Oh My Goodness, I think I am going to have to borrow some Depends from my MIL if I keep reading this blog. I swear I just peed myself laughing.

This post was so great. I think I might have to bookmark it to make me smile.