D'oh! Mess. Tic

I need to dust. There are evidently no dusting robots.

I'm not a big fan of dusting. In fact, I dust so rarely when Mom comes by she writes the date in the dust to commemorate her visit.

When I was engaged to Gary we had a huge fight and I decided to make it up to him by letting myself into his apartment and cleaning. (I pat my younger self on the head for thinking that's the type of thing he'd like.) I found the furniture polish under the sink and rubbed everything down. Then I called to tell him.

"But ... furniture polish?" he asked. "I don't have any furniture polish."
"Sure you do. It's in that big unlabeled jug under the sink."
(Scary pause.) "Get out of the apartment."

Evidently I had found some industrial strength fogging-action insecticide. And, as he promised, by the time he got home the apartment was leaking poison gas under the door and bugs were dying in agony. He listened to me apologize again, covered his mouth, and dashed through the apartment to the balcony, where he spent the night.

So. I don't dust.

Comments

[O]

Isn't the Swiffer some sort of dusting thing? Or did this happen before the advent of the Swiffer? Not that I own a Swiffer, nor do I think I've dusted anything in my life. Waxing my car is as close as it gets.

And a guy's going to have furniture polish under his kitchen sink, or anywhere else in the apartment for that matter? Come on now.

[TheQueen]

No, no, Swiffer is just a very effective dustcloth. On a stick. I need something with sensors that will climb up on the mantel and squirt polish out its tail.

[becs]

I have a cure - such a simple solution. If you wear glasses, don't get new ones for about four years. Poof! The dust is gone!

The warning label to this is: Do not ever, ever, lean in to a bookshelf so that you are within four inches of the shelf. Then you can see the dust and you'll faint straightaway.

[Catherine (redheaded one)]

He slept on the balcony? I think that's funny! Why did he not stay with you or rent a hotel room? He really took a pillow, blanket and jammies to the balcony?