Forgive Me, O Library, for I Have Sinned

Gary and I bought another big stack of books at the Publishing Industrial Complex this past Saturday. In addition, I brought home some books I purged from the Queen Mom's Reading Room. This has unbalanced the book/shelf-space ratio, so now there are books lying on their sides on top of other books. Hideous! Like a mass grave!

I was a page at the county library, and when there weren't books to return to the stacks, the library books had to be neatened. You pull all the books on the shelf forward, take a straight edge (handily, like the ones found on the edges of books) and spine-whack all the books down the line until they are lined up neatly.

And now, the books in my home are all out of order, and I am fantasizing about lining them up (Dewey Decimal? Size? Color?), pulling them to the edge of the shelf and punching them back in line.

You think "Why doesn't she just check books out of the library?"

1) The same reason we don't use NetFlix. The PRESSURE! The pressure to have fun! You must entertain yourself or you are just wasting this book/DVD's time and keeping it from some more deserving person.

2) I don't have a library card. I kept a book out overdue for a year and when I returned the book I gave my card to the librarians.

"You don't have to do this," they said, "Lots of people have overdue books."

"No," I said bravely, "I don't deserve to have a library card." And as I walked away, one said:

"You can always come get another one if you change your mind." (She also thought - quite loudly - that girl's a whackjob.)

What she didn't know is that WAS my second chance library card. I had kept a book out two years when I was in high school. It was so overdue it had to be returned at the Main Branch. I vowed I would never check out another book. But we moved, and I registered to vote, and since I was at the library I figured, hey, I'm better, I can handle returning the books now. But no. Evidently I am weak.

This is why I have to purge / straighten/ spine-slap me some books this weekend. This will cause some conflict with Gary, who thinks the shelves look "delightfully" messy and disorganized.

Finally, speaking of books, I am greatly enjoying The Thing About Jane Spring, in which a lawyer changes her life to be a Doris Day movie. A keeper if you like Doris Day movies - such as my very favorite comedy, Pillow Talk, or if you routinely urge your husband to channel Doris when he sings his big Garyoke showstopper, "Everybody Loves a Lover."

Comments

[Rebecca]

I, the great library-goer, yes, even *I* had a very overdue library item. I had "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" for two weeks and the fine could have bought me the DVD outright.

Still, they forgave me. Librarians are like Jesus - ask forgiveness and it will be granted.

Come to Jesus, Queen. Your sins will be forgiven.

[Caroline]

I didn't show you my husband's bookshelves while you were at my house, did I? Well if the carpet bothered you, never EVER go into the basement. I will bring pictures when I remember. Sideways books crammed everywhere!

[Vaguely Urban]

I couple years ago, I went to a screening of Pillow Talk at this amazing old theater in downtown los angeles that was put on by the LA Conservancy. As a special bonus, it was preceeded by a fashion show of costumes that had been used in assorted glamorous movies. So much fun!

http://laconservancy.org/remaining/index.php4

And now this lawyer is going to go buy that book. And line it up neatly with all the other books in the queue.

[robin]

My conversation with UkChay (who also sits in our cube at work) on the day I was out sick:

Robin says: hey
Robin says: did you read Ellen's blog today?
UkChay says: No
Robin says: ok
Robin says: turn to her
Robin says: and ask her if she knows where a good library is.
**short pause as he obeys**
UkChay says: :-O
UkChay says: Thanks.
Robin says: lol!

What did you say to the poor guy, MM?
Even when I'm not there... *giggle*