In a long-term relationship, what we love is what we hate. Gary, FOR EXAMPLE, is from Venus. He talks about his problems, he sniffles at movies, he loves chick lit. He's also very nurturing and motherly and I love that. However, since he's a girl, he screams at spiders and makes me do the plumbing. Hate that.
Gary is very open about everything. Love that. Hate that. For example, on our actual 21st anniversary (as opposed to 21st anniversary observed) we got a hair cut with Sue, Gary's hairstylist since he was at least 27 (in other words, 25 years ago). We had this exchange with Sue and the other occupants of the hair salon:
Gary: It's our anniversary!
Sue: Happy anniversary.
Other Woman in Salon (OWS): Why are you here? Why aren't you out celebrating?
Gary: We did that Saturday! And we got lost in East Saint Louis! I haven't been there since my bachelor party!
OWS: (looking at me) What did he say?
Me: (sigh) He was talking about his bachelor party.
Gary: We went to Pops or Oz - or maybe both! It was embarrassing!
Sue: Do you realize your wife is sitting right here?
Me: It's okay. He can't help himself.
Gary: The woman at Oz were hot, but the women at the Red Garter were fat!
Me: [wistfully] This takes me back to our wedding night. Remember? You told me all about your bachelor party. Every detail.
Sue: Fat, you say?
Gary: Yeah,but the woman who gave me the lap dance was very, very pretty!
Sue: Gary...
Me: [sigh] We should do this every anniversary.
Gary: I haven't had a lap dance since!
Sue: Gary...You are just oblivious, aren't you?
OWS: (to rest of salon, who are now listening) It's their anniversary.
Me: Really, this is so romantic. Take me now.
Some other guy: I've been to the Red Garter.
Thankfully, Gary didn't hear some other guy because he was expounding on the pools of urine at Oz which countered the hotness of the women and I suppose lessened his arousal. I hope. Then again, maybe Gary has some secret fetish - oh I forgot, if he did I'd know about it.
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