Me me me Meme

"Mom" I said this weekend. "You need a blog."
"I wouldn't have anything to write about."
"Well, you could write about your capers. And if you need a topic evidently there are these things called 'Memes.'"

Mom was disinterested. But I read of a meme  on http://www.amandarin.net/, and it mentioned Chronic Listaholic. The first list was:

"Google the phrase "[your name] needs." Then list the top 10 results that come up. "

Here's what I got:
10 suggestions that Ellen Degeneres needs to dump Anne Heche.

So then I changed the rules to be ' "Ellen needs" -Degeneres ' and here's what I got:

Ellen needs to know that this community is behind her campaign 100%!!!  Yes. That would be my campaign to eradicate Multiple Exclamation Points. You need to realize that one exclamation point is sufficient.

Ellen needs to read the fine print on the credit agreement. This is the first of many "Ellens" used in profoundly boring training sites. Evidently my name is accessible and non-intimidating, yet unique enough the instructional designers feel it shows some effort on their part.

I think Ellen needs to think rationally.  Yes. That's why Ellen takes medication.

Ellen needs to be contacted to see if she is a member and if not, if she wants to join. What type of club is this? Is it a religion? I don't want to join a religion that would have me as a member.

First, on the root level, Ellen needs to answer this question: Is my life worth living? Okay, this list thing is freaking me out.

What else do you think Ellen needs to know before she talks to people at work? Everyone at work just said sarcastically, "Oh, but Ellen knows EVERYTHING already."

Ellen needs to get away from the problems of her relationship with her boyfriend Jordan (Nicky Katt), but she plans to continue work on the magazine article. How old is Jordan? If he can be played by someone named Nicky he must be 12. Ellen needs therapy to stop molesting boys named Jordan.

Ellen needs to talk to people to check what training activity is happening to schedule around training or warn staff that the system will be unavailable ... Gahhhhccchhk. Even my meme life is boring.

I support this petition because Ellen needs to be back in Brentwood, all of her friends miss her! We need her back. This from the people on a first-name-only basis with Ellen Degeneres, I suppose.

"Ellen needs to get away from the problems of her relationship with her boyfriend... (This ... Ellen needs to answer this question: Is my life worth living? ..." This is where it got strange. Evidently someone named Ellen at the Dallas news read of this meme and wrote an article about it. And of course she got all the same links I did, even in October 2005.

Ellen needs to get something in her life worth mocking other than herself.

Comments

[CatherineC]

Okay, I tried the same thing. The first two on my list are:
Catherine needs a sanctuary, periodic retreat from the world (so true!)
and
Catherine needs another yacht! (I guess the first one wasn't good enough?)

[TheQueen]

Hmmph. Google tells me this:
"Your search - 'Ellen needs a yacht' - did not match any documents. "

Google hates me.

[Catherine]

What's really rad is that CatherineC did this Google test for me! Not that I didn't check it anyway...

[TheQueen]

That's how Catherine C is. She's got your back.

[Caroline]

So, my first result was someone who has done the hard work for me: http://tetedelinotte.blogspot.com/2005/11/caroline-needs.html