Okay, Gary and I got each other joint Christmas presents. I got us an electric guitar to share. I was delighted when he got home, grabbed it, and promptly discovered his big fat hammy fingers are not suited for fitting between the frets. First I tuned our - well, my - guitar with a tremendous electric tuner that lights up when you are in tune. Then we had to go to Walmart. I'm sure those of you with guitars know why we had to go. Tuning ones guitar makes the strings break, especially if one is trying to reach a note that is actually five notes down, not up, the scale.
Then Gary had a work emergency, so I concentrated on Ding, the guitar. Ding is a used dark red Epiphone Special with a charming (and economical) ding on the front. It occurred to me later that "Chip" might have been a better name, but he's more of a Ding than a Chip. I wound the new strings, got Ding in tune, plugged Ol' Ding in, and printed the tabs for the easiest Barenaked Ladies song ("Maybe Katie"): D. E. A. Easy! I was thrown off for a few hours because I had printed out the piano chords and was searching for A major. But by the time Gary got back I could play all three chords.
Of course, I couldn't play them in sequence. We cranked up the CD player and I went through it once playing all the As, then again rocking out on the Ds, then a big finale of just the Es. ("raaahhhhhahah! rahhhh!!!" - crowd noises.)
One the other hand, it seems Gary has decided to ignore my decline into early adolescence and prepare for my eventual slide into early childhood. He bought us bikes for Christmas. His and Hers Schwinns. I rode mine on the Target parking lot and found that indeed, you never do forget how to ride a bike. This is not good if your unforgettable bike is a one-speed with coaster brakes , and your new bike is a ten-speed with handle brakes. (What the hell? When did they change that?) Pedaling backwards is now very ineffective. I know I'll be about to crash and my instincts will take over and I'll start pedaling backwards.