I thought the initial blood test was to determine if I was allergic to your basic penicillin, but on further reading, no. It seems the initial blood test determines if you are at risk of anaphylaxis when you get the skin test.
I passed the first test, so my next visit is the skin test. I am to purchase three tablets of penicillin and its derivatives, and then I suppose they grind that up and poke it under my skin.
But what I don't understand is: that when I've had drug allergies in the past I never react on the first dose. (Dose 1 of sulfa, fine. Took dose 2 right before giving a speech. Asked if there were any questions at the end and every hand shot up. “Do you know your face just doubled in size?” )
So, it takes two doses: one to make the antibodies and one to use the antibodies. Everyone’s like this, right? So do I get two skin tests?
Well, at the moment it is moot because the pharmacists aren’t on duty at the local Walgreens, so, I can’t get the requisite tablets.
This week I learned that while you may purchase automated snakes:
... your cat will still prefer the classic ball of yarn, especially if you make it wiggle like an automated snake.
However, the most important thing I learned was from a friend, who said cats should not play with yarn unattended. The yarn can get stuck on their tongue barbs, then they swallow the yarn. which proves fatal. (Though somehow the same thing wasn’t fatal to R. Crumb’s brother Maxim.)
So, Gary and I had a disagreement, like all married couples. I don't imagine all couples disagree as loudly as Gary and as tearfully as I do, but there it is.
The interesting thing was that Goldie the cat came into the room at the height of the fight, walked over to me, and began licking my toe. Then he turned to Gary and stared impassively at him as if to say, “I have made my decision.”
I have gone all in on the Exfolikate exfoliant, even unto buying the three-part system with the cleanser, exfoliant, and ... moisturizer, I think?
What I have found is that while I could easily use the exfoliant, when I apply it after using the cleanser, Lord, it burns, it burns. Then I apply the moisturizer, thinking that's the point of the moisturizer, to correct the burning, but it does not soothe me. Then I have red skin for days, with contrasting white eye sockets. (" Do not use near eyes" Kate says.) Yet I am so, so soft.
Well, Mom-in-my-head, it could be that all your concern about penicillin was for naught. The first test, the blood test, came back negative.
This document from the Centers for Disease Control sort of agrees with the first allergist’s claim that you can be “allergic one day and not the next,” if you rephrase it as “allergic one decade and not the next.” And I’m not done; I still need to do a skin test to see if I might be allergic to the derivatives like Keeflex.
But mark me safe from old-school penicillin. Of course there’s not much I can do with this information other than go out and get syphilis.
Even though I have the medical exemption and I won't have to come to the office, there will be some occasions when my attendance is required. One of those is in a little over a month.
Have I begun planning my outfit? Of course I have. Makeup? It's complicated.
The last time my coworkers saw me, I wore makeup. Foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick, but no mascara or blush, because mascara and blush combined with the rest exceeds my deception tolerance. On the rare occasions I wore mascara or blush I dialed back either eyeshadow or lipstick.
Only now I have the ultimate lie perched on top of my head: a wig. This blows the deception algorithm out of the water.
For Zoom calls with the wig I’ve been wearing nothing but a touch of eyebrow pencil on my left eyebrow. Not the right, the right’s fine, and it’s partially covered by the wig anyway, but the left side of my left eyebrow needs some augmentation.
But in a little over a month, I will be face-to-face with my team without the Zoom filter. They will all see my lashless lizard eyelids in person.
Right now I think I am comfortable with this level of deception: wig, mascara, tinted moisturizer, lipstick until I eat something then that’s it for the lipstick, and the left eyebrow pencil. And that just goes on the outer half of the left eyebrow. For the full eyebrow I would have to deduct the tinted moisturizer.
How does this work for other people? Do women with breast augmentation stop conditioning their hair? Or is this just me?
I want to report some cat abuse. I have been very content to eat the brand of moist cat food with which I am most familiar. Now they have switched my food to some high-protein New Zealand brand.
For some reason the Teatless One -- autocorrect just suggested Twatless One, heh-- Teatless gave me some lamb-bone flavored protein. It was vile. You could taste the New Zealand clam shells mixed in. Very strong. Distasteful.
I could have told him that I cannot abide lamb. There are also tins of mackerel and venison. I suppose I will have to sniff those as well, then paw pointedly on the bin where they store my preferred brand.
I was delighted to see a new Mike Birbiglia special on Netflix last night. I love what he does: making fun of his sleep issues in Sleepwalk with Me, his love life in My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, and babies in The New One. Also, I believe he’s married to someone from Saint Louis, and he gets some entirely irrational points for that.
The latest special centers on death and doctors and families who don’t say “I love you.” Right up my alley.
First of all, don’t expect much because writing this post is cutting into my sleep time. I got no sleep yesterday because the One With Teats was making turkey WHICH I DID NOT GET and then No Teats was watching a loud football game.
I got my revenge at two in the morning when I said the only human word I know, “Meow,” in a variety of inflections. “MEOW, meow meow .. MEOWMEOW.” That woke them both up. Now if I could fill the house with strange cats who want to touch them we would be even.
I need to go. Teats keeps trying to scratch my chin.
... to exactly the same, because I have been painting bathroom walls, not mandolins. Both bathrooms are done. The virgin bathroom is elegant or boring, depending on my mood, and it took two days to get the primer and beige on one and then two days to get the medical bathroom painted and everything re-hung.