Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

  • Dress code

    I saw a man in a hat recently. At work. The idea. Brazenly wearing a hat in mixed company at work.

    And not a sedate and modest hat, like a bowler, or a deerstalker.

    No.

    The man was wearing the most provocative of all hats.

    A fedora.

    At. Work.

    Here I am, stitching up necklines so I do not appear untoward, while men get no criticism as they publicly clap on a fedora, with the excuse — I suppose — that it is winter and they are headed into the cold.

    What is next? Vests? Spats? Even more clothing until every man is parading around like Cary Grant? It’s very distracting.

    No comments on Dress code

  • A series of related events led to this post

    Event 1: Well, the porn sites in Missouri did not like the recent restrictions requiring that people give proof of age. As a result, any visit to any site, no matter how female-friendly, ethical, or plot-driven, is blocked by a message that until things change in Missouri, no porn will play in your state, no matter how far over eighteen you are.

    Event 2: I sent my sympathies to Gary over this state of affairs and he scoffed, “I can get anything I want on Google,” then showed me images of long-legged thick-haired naked woman who looked thirty at least.

    Event 3: I decided to see if Google would give me anything I want, and what I want is what would send a good Catholic boy to hell. I saw a few videos that showed men employing a variety of sex toys (Fleshlites, if you are inclined to Google it).

    Event 4: Google summoned up more videos of men using sex toys and God in Heaven, their toys are weird.

    • A “realistic oral pleasure device”, which was a silicone mouth bulging from the end of a long handle, with pretty lips (sure), a flat toungue (naturally) and upper and lower TEETH (why God why).
    • An “anime” silicone doll that was 80% bosom, 10% legs and arms, and 5% head (obviously).
    • The same as above but with apertures. An aperture in the vulva area, an aperture in the mouth area, and apertures in the NIPPLE AREAS. Seriously! Talk about dolls providing unrealistic expectations.

    Event 5: That did me in. Gary heard me wheeze with laughter as I watched the big masturbating man pounce on the bouncy booby doll and push his member into its breast. I tried to show Gary what was so funny but he ran.

    Event 6: I remembered just last Christmas, Gary went on a purge and discovered a bag of my sex toys that had fallen into disfavor, including Old Pink. I thought they were long gone!

    So I lined them up and took a photo. They don’t look funny at all.

    Photo after the jump.

    (more…)
    No comments on A series of related events led to this post

  • TWIL: WHY redheads are more sensitive to pain

    Gary is a redhead. I didn’t realize it because he looks towheaded in his black and white childhood photos, and he was a brownhead by his late twenties when I met him. But in the rare color photos from his teens, he was a freckle-free Irish lad with dark auburn hair and a red beard. And of course, he’s all silver now. This means that I have a type: sixty percent of my long-term boyfriends have been redheads. While I sadly never got the chance to see Gary’s red hair in real life, I must have sensed it in my genes.

    This week I read that redheads have a mutated MC1R gene, and the same gene makes them more sensitive to pain.

    Gary told me in the eighties that redheads feel more pain, but here you go, a scientific paper with more information fairly hot off the press:

    https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/study-finds-link-between-red-hair-pain-threshold

    They need more Novocaine, yet less opioids. The one time I saw Gary take Oxycodone he said it made him too loopy.

    It makes me wonder if it would be helpful for doctors to know he was a redhead once.

    2 comments on TWIL: WHY redheads are more sensitive to pain

  • Missed opportunity, NASA

    NASA has delayed the Artemis II launch two days, from February 6th to the 8th. The delay was originally because of problems with the “wet rehearsal”. We already did have three astronauts die in a fire during a rehearsal, so good job learning from history.

    Now today I hear that it was actually delayed because of extreme cold at the launch site, calling to mind the Challenger explosion.

    It’s starting to sound like this is all contrived to give the public retroactive faith in NASA. The only things that can make me more suspicious is if they actually say the words, “Wait until April.”

    Or possibly, it’s not PR. Maybe they really have learned. But if the next delay is because they want to be sure the foam is secure on the booster then I will raise an eyebrow to unparalleled heights.

    No comments on Missed opportunity, NASA

  • I participate in the national blackout by accident

    There was a call today for citizens to boycott work, school, shopping, etc. to protest I.C.E. (”Immigration and Customs Enforcement” emphasis on “FORCE”).

    I did boycott all these things today. What I did not boycott was my bathroom, because what actually took me out all day was an awful, awful stomachache.

    I am running the dishwasher and doing some laundry right now. That’s how bad.

    I was so busy being sick for hours that I didn’t even hear about the boycott. However, if anyone asks it will have been protesting I.C.E. just as violently as I could.

    2 comments on I participate in the national blackout by accident

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 1/29/2026

    So this is the previous…

    This is the progress …

    And this is the goal.

    3 comments on Weekly Paint Progress: 1/29/2026

  • Support

    Last Wednesday, the day I had the unexpected visit to the eye doctor, Gary had an issue with our new pharmacy refusing to fill his B-12 prescription. This led to an unfortunate conversation in which Gary almost simultaneously said both “STOP BEING A BABY ABOUT YOUR EYE” and “MOMMY TAKE CARE OF MY B-TWELF PWOBLEM l’M SICK.”

    Later that day I was heading to the store after work, and instead of calling to ask, “Hey, want anything at the store” I called to say how we had not been very nice to each other that morning and we need to take time to support each other, and to that end, I wanted to know if he wanted to have me pick up anything for him at the store.

    He started to laugh and confessed he was in the store’s parking lot walking back to his car with a full basket of groceries and was absolutely not going back in to get me anything.

    I laughed too, somehow. Perhaps because it was a half-breakthrough: he fully knows now I feel the support is one-sided, even though on the other hand, nothing at all is going to change.

    No comments on Support

  • Roomba bankruptcy

    I was gutted to hear that Roomba’s parent company, iRobot, is going into bankruptcy.

    Mom and I were both early Roomba adopters. I still have the early virtual “walls” from my first one. I currently have \ a heavy-duty basement Roomba, a pet model ground floor Roomba, and a mopping “Scooba”.

    I know there are other vacuuming and mopping robots. It seems a shame to buy one now given that Gary delights in running the combo sweeper/dustbuster every other day.

    I’ll keep the basement ones exercised and use Gary as my … Goomba.

    4 comments on Roomba bankruptcy

  • Bitter cold

    Bad: Today’s national weather was ice in the south, and eight inches of snow at -4 here in the middle, and similar nastiness up north. This means that Important Work People cannot fly in for an Important Work Conference this week. However, Local Important Work People will attend, so it was all hands on deck this morning. Or more precisely, all my hands were on deck, because the rest of the office stayed home.
    Moderate: The drive in was remarkable. My dynamic stability light flashed madly during three episodes of near spinouts on the plowed but still snow-packed streets.
    The highways were generally clear, though, and I got there and saw that mine was one of ten cars in our five-story parking garage. There was someone else counting the cars, and later in the day I saw that another person walked past every cubicle. I tell myself that means someone noticed my commitment. This is a lie I tell myself so I feel that I too am Very Important. (To be fair, other team members were flying on planes and joined me later.)
    Good: Not only did the Mini brave the snow, it adapted to the bitter cold. I expected it to lose range: I’ve seen it take an extra 10% of power in the winter. But today? At four degrees below my thirty-mile round trip took half my fuel, not 30%. I read tales this morning of how they can still function at negative 40 degrees, but with a marked decrease in range. How decreased? I cannot do this word problem.
    I’m home now, though, and the Mini is charging, so it can continue to do the same every day this week. I really do not want to be catering to the Very Important this late in the game.

    No comments on Bitter cold

  • TWIL: All about posterior vitreous detachment

    This week I learned a number of things about posterior viterous detachment.

    1. It is a medical issue that has nothing to do with your posterior. It’s an eye problem in which the goo that fills your eyeball shrinks up, so that it’s not flush with the retina in the back (posterior) of your eye.
    2. This causes “floaters” in which one sees dust bunnies on the edge of your field of vision, and “flashers” which are meteors that streak across your field of vision.
    3. These are the same symptoms that happen with retinal detachment, again a lack of connection between the goo and the retina, only the retina version is more serious.
    4. Because it could be serious you have to make an appointment with the ophthalmologist all while your husband bellows that it’s NOTHING STOP BEING A BABY.

    I did get it checked out, like an ADULT, and it is the less serious of the two. It seems I’ll be looking at this little dust bunny in my right eye for the next month at least.

    Oh, and whhhhhhhyyy whhhhhyyyyy meeeee? Comes with age. Hmph.

    No comments on TWIL: All about posterior vitreous detachment
New BlogRoll tab