Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Foxes

Yesterday, Gary checked some old unseen backyard videos, and he reported the foxes are back. The one in the first few seconds is checking to see if lamb and rice dog food is still in the menu.

Rabbit is on the menu in the last second for the second fox.

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Related: Bears of Saint Louis. The bears continue to migrate north from South County. St. Louis’ most recent tourist bear started 30 miles south in Pacific. Not sure where he is today.

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Today, Gary said, “I’m going to check the latest video and check for any more fox visits.” 
I said, “You want foxes to visit, you’ll have to feed them rabbit. They won’t be interested in peanuts.”

Wrong! 

(Ignore the scene-stealing spider.)

 

Wires

Maybe I have a little Joan Crawford in me, but I find this unacceptable:

This mess is behind the monitor on Gary’s computer desk. Usually I steer clear of his little hoarder haven, but I needed a big monitor for a work task. I was finally able to find the monitor cable after I gave up and left the room twice.

(He’s not really a hoarder. He’s just more disorganized than I am. I keep following mom’s advice: men don’t need a mother, they need autonomy.)

Weekly Paint Progress: 5/13

This week the salt shakers went from this:

to this:

Large areas are wrong but some parts are right, so it’s a wash and I am stopping. 

[LATER] I realize now I didn’t paint in the salt shaker holes on her salt shaker breasts, so now she just looks like a naked women posing amid giant salt shakers. I like the idea that in the 2090s someone will find this at a garage sale and not understand it at all.

The pansy went from this:

to this:

Some Nice Covid Etiquette

One of our team leaders at work announced a retirement, and because everyone is fully immunized, the retiree wants to have an in-person retirement party. 

The remarkable thing was that he immediately followed that with “However, I am aware that some people have medical conditions that make it so can’t they are still at risk even if they are immunized, so their suffering continues.”

I know, he chose the word suffering, which sounded overly dramatic (the party probably won’t be THAT good) but it was nice he was aware not everyone is in the 100% safe boat.

I would have thought he was speaking directly to me, but I know better. When I told my boss about my inadequate vaccine situation, he was adamant that if I wanted anyone else to know that I’d have to be the one tell them. This non-secret would go to the grave with him.

I suppose it’s an HR rule. Some people are very private about illness, and the boss who discusses any illness would be seen as … a health gossip? 

At any rate, I felt that the disclaimer for the vaccine-impaired was very polite. 

Things I Have Discovered While Curating My Music

I’ve been adding my early music collection to Amazon Music. Man, there are a lot of nineties songs, which is odd given that I made the list in the mid-2000s. I still have the late aughts and 2010s to go. There were a few surprises.

• There ia a Barenaked Ladies song I didn’t know about. I mean, I know there are some that I am saving for when I am old and in the home, along with the pot, but I had no idea that 20/20 Hindsight was out there.
• I have three different songs all called Bang Bang: Cher, Liz Phair, Jessie J.
• I found almost everything on Amazon Music, with the exception of two Nellie McKay songs, Cowboy Moth’s Voodoo Shoppe album, and the BNL drummers side project: Don’t Talk, Dance.
• Someone at Amazon Music does not know how to alphabetize.

 

The Bears are Back in Town

Remember how last summer was the summer of Bruno the bear? Bruno the black bear was in my neighborhood looking for a mate.

Well, a bear has been seen in the Saint Louis area, two days in a row, (no make that three, now there’s a photo on Facebook putting the bear in Brentwood). So, perhaps it’s two or three bears, and perhaps last year’s bear Bruno was a scout, doing recon for future bear missions. (Maybe he’s done that ever since he was a cub Scout.)

Evidently the bear situation is so bad they are opening up bear season later to select people. Watch out, bears. You can find sanctuary in my backyard.

LATE BREAKING UPDATE: the bear spent too long up a tree and they shot him with a tranquilizer gun and carried him off to a farm upstate. Well, I don’t know where he is.

All I know is I got a lot of delight out of the constant reminders: “Do not take selfies with the bear.”

Looks Like I Picked a Good Day to Buy an All-Electric Car

Cyber-criminals have attacked the U.S.’s biggest oil pipeline. From the Wall Street journal article:

“Inventories of gasoline have been readied for the summer driving season and usually get replenished every five to six days. … The fuel artery is critical to supplying the northeastern U.S. and other markets, and extended shutdowns of the pipeline have caused fuel prices to jump in previous years. … An outage lasting more than five days could have sharp consequences for fuel supplies.”

Then they quote an expert:

“If you were looking at the top 20 public targets that you could really wreak havoc with by screwing with the software, the Colonial Pipeline is in that group … It’s a big deal.” 

Hah! Not for me.

CD Dismay

Yes, yes, the rest of you converted all your CDs to digital ten years ago. There’s no CD player in the new car, I am late to the game. They are finally forcing me into the future.

It’s a big adjustment, trading physical stuff for digital stuff. I was going to burn every CD we own to iTunes and then somehow get them to Apple Music or Amazon.

I was steeling myself to pitch it all at the end and Gary reminded we that we can play CDs on our blu-ray still. 

I was indignant we would have to re-purchase everything digitally, but looks like I’ll be piggybacking on the Amazon Prime and then using iTunes to get rarities on a Flash drive for the car’s USB hub.

It doesn’t look like a lot, does it? But it’s years of choices. I feel like a hoarder being asked to clean out her house. The thousands of decisions. The emotions. 

Have you done this? Was it this hard for you? 

Fish Game

The new electric Mini Cooper has a built-in game.

If you get in, activate the voice commands, and say, “My mini! Activate! Minimalism!” then it shows you a graphic of a fish in a fishbowl, and if you waste electricity while driving, the water sloshes out of the fishbowl and the fish is dismayed. You can see the non-electric version in action here.

My newer one is a little more 3-D.

I have looked at my efficiency data already with the iPhone app and I am 3 out of 5. Of course now I want to see that in fish terms. 

Of course what I really want to do is see if I can kill the fish.

I gave it a shot yesterday. When I drove like a old lady, the fish leapt out of the bowl and caught a star. When I floored the accelerator, the fish’s mouth gaped open in horror, and an image of a foot flooring an accelerator popped up on-screen. 

But flooring it is soooooo satisfying. No gearing up, no shifting, you’re just suddenly I n warp speed with no waiting. I am afraid my fish is going to be very unhappy with me.

Weekly Paint Progress: 5/6

This week the salt shakers went from this:

...to this:

My goal is to paint as realistically as possible with the fewest amount of strokes. I need to stop looking at what’s there and paint what should be there. In the salt shakers some parts look real and parts are a cartoon. The far left and far right sides are okay, but the belly and left leg are ridiculous.

(Bear in mind she’s a salt shaker set. She’ll only look so real. Gravity-defying breasts are just what I’m working with; don’t blame me. You couldn’t have realistic breasts for the salt and pepper.)

I need to find a new subject for the alternate painting. No forced perspective, no peonies. I think I’ve been saddened by doing the walkthroughs and seeing my painting is weak compared to the goal painting. So this time I’m copying an unsophisticated painting and seeing if I can make it better.

The new goal:

 

Uh - oh

This thought just crept into my head:

”You know, I bet pottery’s an interesting hobby.”

That’s some trouble brewing.

Herd Immunity

I heard on the news last night that scientist say the U.S. might not ever reach herd immunity. (It’s what I herd. Snort.)

This discourages me. I suppose it means I’ll always have a 25% chance of dying from the covid if I leave my bubble and encounter a virus. 

(By the way, if I were you I would have just thought, “Didn’t she just go out in public and buy a car?” Yes I did, and my mask can only do so much. Judge away.)

Perhaps the globe will start behaving as if they have a stake in the global pandemic and begin sanctioning the U.S. — no more Japanese televisions or South American oil until we flatten all our curves.

Then I wondered how many of the people resisting the covid vaccine are also resisting the flu shot, and if perhaps the flu shot could just combat Flu Type A, B, and now a little C for Covid.

Actually, I don’t remember it, but after the swine flu non-global pandemic it seems they started tossing in a little swine flu vaccine in there for H1N1.

That’s just what we need. Keep it on the down-low and next fall all those patriots who feel a covid shot limits their liberties might get some extra MRNA with their flu vaccine. 

Then again, do patriots get flu shots? Only 40-50% of us even get the flu vaccine. 

I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws.

Bruised

I was at my physical and the doctor asked me about my five bruises. “Yardwork.” I said.

That was early last month. Now I have 36 bruises. I didn’t even know about the ten on the back of my right arm; Gary had to ask why I have ten tiny bruises in a row. And 11 of my left leg, and 11 on my right leg, and then a few — four — on my left arm. 

Doctors know, though. They want me back for a repeat thyroid test in three months because the standard test shows some wonkiness. I have been waiting for years for that organ to peter out: during one of my two MS flare-ups there was a lesion too close to whatever brain part controls that system and the resident were quite surprised (and perhaps a little disappointed) that I wasn’t having thyroid problems. 

It might be Hashimoto’s disease, when the immune system attaches the thyroid, because sometimes a white blood cell wants a bit of variety in its diet of axonal myelin. I would think the pills I take for the MS would keep the immune cells away from my thyroid just as the same as they do when they guard my central nervous system. 

It certainly explains the three-month weight-loss plateau. Or, perhaps it’s just a fluke in the blood test and I really beat myself up gardening. 

My Friday Night

I start a new project Monday, and I wanted to finish up my old project before I get absorbed in the new one. I worked on it all day Friday, and then all evening Friday, and then from midnight to 5:30 a.m., when I got two hours of sleep.

At about two a.m. I remembered the conversation I’d had earlier with the stakeholders. “Oh it’ll be a snap. Four hours at the most.” Hubris. Hu. bris. 

At three a.m., I remembered I was the only one in a hurry for this to be done, so I shut everything down and tried to go to sleep. 

At three-thirty a.m. I realized I was still working in my head, and it wouldn’t stop until I finished the last “little bit.”

Again, remember, no one wants this done but me. I am both slave driver and slave. When the birds began chirping I was still at the last little bit, thinking if I got it done then I could enjoy my weekend.  And guess what, I finished, but I didn’t test it as thoroughly as I should have. So, it’s not done.