Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

  • TWIL: Orson Welles will be vindicated by AI

    After Citizen Kane, Orson Welles directed The Magnificent Ambersons and the studio destroyed it.

    They cut out many minutes, and worse, tacked on a “happy” ending that matched the book and was suited to the 1940s. They didn’t shoot the thematically appropriate and dark ending more suited to the 2020s.

    Happily, I read this week in this very long article buried behind a partial paywall in The New Yorker that people are going to use AI and add back the cut scenes and concoct the missing, gutting ending.

    This is actually old news, but I just heard about it this week. Maybe they consulted with the Welles estate and everyone’s happier now?

    I do hope to live to see that movie restored, and men on Mars, annnnnd a 51st state … annnnnnnnnd aliens.

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  • H&M applies more pressure

    This is a Facebook ad for a tiered chiffon skirt from H&M.

    “That’s a man modeling that skirt,” I thought, and it might be. H&M has started hiring trans people to model clothing.

    I love the inclusion, I do. But wasn’t it bad enough that I had to look as good as a model to look good in one of their skirts, now I’m expected to look as good as a man?

    3 comments on H&M applies more pressure

  • Dad on the cusp

    Still reading through Mom’s letters, and found this random one from Dad to a friend. It is dated Jan 9, 1969.

    I checked. The son of the founder invented the red Solo Cup just the next year. Coincidence? Or inspiration?

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  • Weekly Paint Progress: 2/5/2026

    So this is the previous…

    This is the progress …

    And this is the goal.

    A lot to dislike and undo. Hmph.

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  • Friend #3 is on the cusp

    Friend #3 is the only one of the Numbered Friends still at TeddyJ. And even that will not last for long: today was the first of her two (two!) two retirement parties.

    It was well attended by thirty coworkers from the last 18 years, and they all went around and shared stories of her generosity and expertise.

    My turn came early and, instead of sharing a work story, I related this story of how we saw a man dressed as a slice of pizza and she made me laugh so hard no noise came out.

    She was appalled, and said immediately, “I’ve known you since the nineties and that’s all you’ve got?”

    “Well, you make me laugh,” I said. And I know she would have preferred I talk about her technical acumen, but she’s my friend first and my co-worker second. And every time someone said how much they’d miss her, I thought, “I’ll see her at music trivia on the 20th.”

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  • Dress code

    I saw a man in a hat recently. At work. The idea. Brazenly wearing a hat in mixed company at work.

    And not a sedate and modest hat, like a bowler, or a deerstalker.

    No.

    The man was wearing the most provocative of all hats.

    A fedora.

    At. Work.

    Here I am, stitching up necklines so I do not appear untoward, while men get no criticism as they publicly clap on a fedora, with the excuse — I suppose — that it is winter and they are headed into the cold.

    What is next? Vests? Spats? Even more clothing until every man is parading around like Cary Grant? It’s very distracting.

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  • A series of related events led to this post

    Event 1: Well, the porn sites in Missouri did not like the recent restrictions requiring that people give proof of age. As a result, any visit to any site, no matter how female-friendly, ethical, or plot-driven, is blocked by a message that until things change in Missouri, no porn will play in your state, no matter how far over eighteen you are.

    Event 2: I sent my sympathies to Gary over this state of affairs and he scoffed, “I can get anything I want on Google,” then showed me images of long-legged thick-haired naked woman who looked thirty at least.

    Event 3: I decided to see if Google would give me anything I want, and what I want is what would send a good Catholic boy to hell. I saw a few videos that showed men employing a variety of sex toys (Fleshlites, if you are inclined to Google it).

    Event 4: Google summoned up more videos of men using sex toys and God in Heaven, their toys are weird.

    • A “realistic oral pleasure device”, which was a silicone mouth bulging from the end of a long handle, with pretty lips (sure), a flat toungue (naturally) and upper and lower TEETH (why God why).
    • An “anime” silicone doll that was 80% bosom, 10% legs and arms, and 5% head (obviously).
    • The same as above but with apertures. An aperture in the vulva area, an aperture in the mouth area, and apertures in the NIPPLE AREAS. Seriously! Talk about dolls providing unrealistic expectations.

    Event 5: That did me in. Gary heard me wheeze with laughter as I watched the big masturbating man pounce on the bouncy booby doll and push his member into its breast. I tried to show Gary what was so funny but he ran.

    Event 6: I remembered just last Christmas, Gary went on a purge and discovered a bag of my sex toys that had fallen into disfavor, including Old Pink. I thought they were long gone!

    So I lined them up and took a photo. They don’t look funny at all.

    Photo after the jump.

    (more…)
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  • TWIL: WHY redheads are more sensitive to pain

    Gary is a redhead. I didn’t realize it because he looks towheaded in his black and white childhood photos, and he was a brownhead by his late twenties when I met him. But in the rare color photos from his teens, he was a freckle-free Irish lad with dark auburn hair and a red beard. And of course, he’s all silver now. This means that I have a type: sixty percent of my long-term boyfriends have been redheads. While I sadly never got the chance to see Gary’s red hair in real life, I must have sensed it in my genes.

    This week I read that redheads have a mutated MC1R gene, and the same gene makes them more sensitive to pain.

    Gary told me in the eighties that redheads feel more pain, but here you go, a scientific paper with more information fairly hot off the press:

    https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/study-finds-link-between-red-hair-pain-threshold

    They need more Novocaine, yet less opioids. The one time I saw Gary take Oxycodone he said it made him too loopy.

    It makes me wonder if it would be helpful for doctors to know he was a redhead once.

    2 comments on TWIL: WHY redheads are more sensitive to pain

  • Missed opportunity, NASA

    NASA has delayed the Artemis II launch two days, from February 6th to the 8th. The delay was originally because of problems with the “wet rehearsal”. We already did have three astronauts die in a fire during a rehearsal, so good job learning from history.

    Now today I hear that it was actually delayed because of extreme cold at the launch site, calling to mind the Challenger explosion.

    It’s starting to sound like this is all contrived to give the public retroactive faith in NASA. The only things that can make me more suspicious is if they actually say the words, “Wait until April.”

    Or possibly, it’s not PR. Maybe they really have learned. But if the next delay is because they want to be sure the foam is secure on the booster then I will raise an eyebrow to unparalleled heights.

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  • I participate in the national blackout by accident

    There was a call today for citizens to boycott work, school, shopping, etc. to protest I.C.E. (”Immigration and Customs Enforcement” emphasis on “FORCE”).

    I did boycott all these things today. What I did not boycott was my bathroom, because what actually took me out all day was an awful, awful stomachache.

    I am running the dishwasher and doing some laundry right now. That’s how bad.

    I was so busy being sick for hours that I didn’t even hear about the boycott. However, if anyone asks it will have been protesting I.C.E. just as violently as I could.

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