Gary's parents called with very sad news. The dog Tinkerbell (the DachSlut) has had cataracts for a while, but then in one week she had developed ravenous hunger, gotten clumsy, and evidently there's a specific dachshund condition, Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration (SARDs), in which a sudden increase in appetite and thirst swiftly leads to blindness.
We read what we could about it, then set off to visit the dog. Well, first there was a stop at PetCo to purchase eighty dollars of toys for blind dogs.
We cuddled Tinkerbell as soon as we walked in. After about fifteen minutes of dog kisses we set her down on the ground. We watched her carefully. She moved a little slowly and sniffed a lot more.
Gary said, "I read that blind dogs adapt really well." We looked at Tinkerbell sadly.
Tinkerbell looked at us and leapt gracefully up on the couch.
I pointed, and said, "She just leapt up on the couch."
"Well, she's not totally blind yet."
After further questioning, it seems Gary's sister had Googled "increased appetite clumsiness dachshund" and yes, that search will lead you right to the very convincing SARDs article above. However, no one had actually taken Tinkerbell to the vet, because "vets just give you bad news." And, to be fair, the dog had not performed her miraculous couch trick since she'd had her episode of hunger and clumsiness.
After Gary bellowed for half an hour, the in-laws promised that Tinkerbell would visit the vet the next day. And for once, the vet did not give bad news. The dog just has her existing cataracts and must have felt hungry and thirsty one day. Happily, the dog is not blind.
At least, that's what we're being told, perhaps some awful truth is being kept from us because Gary might bellow again.
That article was pretty dead-on, though. I bought it. And that article did say it might take a month for the blindness to take over. Well, it's been a month, and the dog is leaping about and eating and drinking normally. I say the dog has Munchausen's and is faking the illnesses that will score her new toys.