So exciting! I scheduled a hormone blood test for Wednesday that will tell me if I am past my "prime," if by prime you mean Grade A USDA Approved fleshy meat reproductive parts. I shall find if those parts are dry aged beef or if they are still drippy.
I must have a blood test because the typical monthly tell-tale sign doesn't work on me, because the birth control pills made my periods dry up years ago, all thanks be to the Mother Goddess and Father Pfizer.
Instead, normal women have this timeline:
2) Hit the wall with the last period.
Instead, Wednesday the blood will out, but happily it will come out of my arm and nowhere inconvenient.
BAAAABIES BAAABABAAAABIES Hurry up and have BAAAABIES before Wednesday! Just checking ... nope. Still no Baby cravings. Had to check, it might be my last chance.