I had my blood drawn today and if all goes well I shall be deemed Paused, Barren, Beyond the Great Witherment. I have never been SO excited about a potential test result EVER. Because why? Because of the party.
Gotta have a MenoParty. Little girls get Menarche Parties (in some circles), so my circle is getting a party. I've been waiting for this time since it all went downhill when I was eleven.
I know it's coming (if not soon then someday soon), so I've ordered these delicious chocolate molds:
Why yes, those are chocolate molds shaped like birth control. Not like my birth control, but that's easily expressed as a sheet cake:
Other food? Anything related to menstruation or reproduction is fair game. Hard boiled eggs. Caviar. Blood pudding. Dried meats. Blood oranges.
But my favorite idea came from this inspiration, a viking carved from a watermelon.
I thought, what could I carve a watermelon into? So that you see the inspiration in pure form, here is exactly what I typed yesterday:
"watermelon_carved into uterus or my god tampons"
Picture a watermelon tampon including both the white and red parts of the melon and some cotton twine. Then I thought, why not angel food cake carved into "pads," with strawberry jam, and I thought no, that's gross, THAT'S over the line. So of course, that lasted all of a second and now it's on the table too.
I haven't even begun to think of the set list, or the drinks, or the ice cubes or first period stories.
God I hope it's the Change.