Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia: Argo at the Fancy AND Schmancy Five Star Lounge: a Review in Four Parts

Part 1: The Staff

I walked up to the box office at the Des Peres Cinema, looked at the starting times for Argo and the Five Star Lounge, and said:

"Oh no! Both the 1 AND 3 o'clock showings for Argo are sold out?"

The box office boy looked at me blankly.

"That is tragic!" I said. "Could you tell me if the 1:00 show in Chesterfield is sold out too?"

He said, "You could go inside and ask at the desk and they could look it up on-line."

I went inside, asked at the desk, and they were shocked to hear the 1:00 showing was sold out. "We have forty-seven seats available. The sign outside is probably just not up-to-date."

With one unhelpful staffer and one helpful, it was a wash, but then we met our server.

(Tsk, I hadn't seen the exposed wires till just now. Points off!)

Our server won me over by ending her introduction with "...and I'll be serving you tonight" instead of the hated "... and I'll be taking care of you tonight."

Part 2: The Venue

There are four or five round tables per row, a pair of leather recliners behind each table, and each recliner has an extra swing-out tray for food, a button to summon the staff, and bottom and lumbar warmers.

After out server seated us, she explained how the system works. You just hit the button and the she comes out to your table. (The closest I'll ever come to ringing a bell for the ladies' maid.) After she left I rang her and demanded a footrub.

Part 3: The Comestibles

I really didn't expect much. I assumed the Lobster Nachos would be the concession bar nachos with knots of frozen lobster tossed on top. I went for the nine dollar hot dog, and you know, it was really excellent, especially when paired with the Electric Kool-Aid targeted to the Barely Over 21 set. My companion Anne From Work selected a cabernet and the mini-burgers.

Part IV: The Movie

Argo? Generally great. Absolutely no sex, lots of excitement, but of course I was distracted trying to decide what happened and what was drama. (If you've seen the movie, go here for a breakdown.)

Overall, Spunky gives the whole experience ten toes up!