Best Opening Credits: I Was Impaled
I've only seen one episode, but while I love the logo I'm afraid that of the three impalement stories only one was what I would consider an impalement. Lady with a spruce tree in your neck, yes, you were impaled. Guy who swallowed a fishing lure, okay, you were a dumbass and swallowed the lure. Spruce tree lady didn't swallow the spruce. And guy with a bullet behind his eye, no. You do not belong. I roared at the screen "YOU WERE NOT IMPALED." You can't be "impaled" by a bullet that ended up rattling behind your eye. Wait for the Discovery Series "I Have Something Rattling Behind My Eye."
The Winner in the New Category of Gossipmentary: Dark Matters
So, is science just too analytical for you? Do you think, ooo, if it nuclear physics were just more salacious?
Would you like this guy to make everything sound DIRTY? Louis Pasteur! Dirty AND a murderer of little children! Edison! Dirty and a thief! The CIA? DIRTY PERVERTS.
Wonderful show. Great show. Gary screams when it's on. He does the same to Mad Men and Boardwalk Empire, so what does that say?
Lifetime Achievement Award: Iron Chef Japan
I have no patience for Iron Chef America and the ersatz heir of Chairman Kaga. Give me the original, above. Gary and I have rediscovered this show and its ability to make Gary scream. Scream this out loud and make your voice go up one note for each accentuated word: "LARD made out of the FAT from UNDER the MANE of a HORSE?" Only now we have the iPad and I am required to research this. (They almost immediately threw in crab brains so I didn't have to report on horse mane fat.)
I have no interest in any of the new shows on the other networks this season. Some Glee spinoff? Some Modern Family spinoff? Yawn.