Gary made it clear this morning that no matter his promises last night, he would not be joining me on any errand or shopping trips today. I got hungry between three and four and decided to go to Sherlock's, because Gary screams whenever I suggest it. (He had an unfortunate brunch there.)
I sat down next to two older ladies who were slinging back beers. I eavesdropped enough to realize they were with a seniors meetup group. I looked up Meetup Groups : Travel while I ate.
By the time my meal came there were twelve of them. They'd taken all my spare chairs. By the time I paid there were twenty of them, including one older man who had a go-to joke:
"Are you married?" [answer: yes] "Do you cheat?" [answer: no] "Will you lie still while I do?" [Hilarity ensues.]
So, when they saw I was leaving a few of them came over and said I could join them. How nice of you, I said, but no thank you, I need to be on my way.
"You know what our group is called?" one asked.
"What it's called? No. Is it some type of senior meetup group? I just turned fifty yesterday." I AM NOT ONE OF YOU. IT'S TOO SOON. TOO SOON!
"Our group is called 'Why Eat Alone?'" she said, and put a hand on my shoulder. She looked at me with pity while others rose and came to my table. ONE OF US ONE OF US.
"No," I protested, "I'm just alone because my husband had his wisdom teeth pulled yesterday."
One-Joke Man jumped in and asked, "Do you cheat?"